Tuesday 18 February 2014

Why do young people have sex so soon?

Sammi says:
Just wanted to get some views. Basically found out yesterday my 15year old sis has had sex. Now i can't judge because I two first had sex at 15, but the difference is I had a lot more crap going on and my bf at the time, made out he'd take me away from it all and love me forever blah blah, soon disappeared after and I wasn't in a good place to make a mature decision, just did it. Now there's 8years difference between us and I always hoped and talk to her about just waiting til 16 so she's a bit more mature and knows everything about sex and protection, brief detail, never promoted it. But she's done the same.
Why are children ranging from 12-15yrs having sex. I have a 2yr old daughter and I'm now worried that in the long future, is my daughter to going to be having sex young? Is it the schools fault for poor sex education or the parents? Are the friends they hang around with, encouraging it or promoting it as the cool thing to be doing as soon as possible? In the uk the law says 16 is the legal age to have sex and work, just like 17 to drive, 18 to drink. I've always thought 16 was young, sex affects you with out you realising at that age, I remember just feeling empty after, like oh that's all he wanted from me. It's happened now and I hope my sis had a better experience and never regrets it, but now it's the part of possible young pregnancy and I think that scares me more, don't want that for her or to consider abortion, you know what I mean, sex complicates everything if your not mature enough to deal with it like an adult. Yeh it's fun, and I was stupid when I was younger but is this society in the next decade still going to see an increase of under age sex, young pregnancies and more abortions due to this, or kids from broken homes, in foster care? More children on benefits because their not even legal to work yet and then have to claim for the rest of their life because they don't have qualifications as couldn't finish high school? It's just shocking and worrying now. You can see now in the 21st century, kids just don't stay kids and want to be adults straight away. But how do we slow them down and make them see being a child is a great thing and goes too quickly, you spend your whole life being an adult, it's boring! Sex is every where so I will talk to my kids at an appropriate age, but what's that age? I'm not one of those people, I have a health view on sex and will hopefully make sure my kids do too. 'm just asking.


If a teen wants to have sex, there's not a lot you can do to stop it directly. We can however help the situation a lot by providing lots of free non-judgemental help, education, advice and support, so they are fully aware of the consequences and the different mindsets of boys and girls, which basically boil down to this: boys have relationships to get sex, and girls have sex to get relationships.

This gives a shrewd girl a degree of power - she can set the terms, time and place. Boys who use the "you would if you love me" tactic can be responded with "if you love me you'll wait until I'm ready". On a practical note, any girl having unprotected sex needs in the first instance to get the morning after pill, and secondly get herself tested for chlamydia and HIV.

Guys and girls who are better informed and understand each other will make better decisions, but there will always be fools.
 

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