Friday, 30 May 2014

My ex posted a picture of my penis online!

Max says
So my ex girlfriend's friend posted a picture of a penis on her account profile pics, and I'm 95 percent sure it's mine, and I remember my ex kept saying that she loved my penis. Then she turned a little promiscuous, and we broke up, and now she's totally off hanging out with bad people (I haven't been with. her for a year and a half). So I see her friend posted a pic of me just belly-down so you don't see my face or anything. At first I was so angry, but should I call my ex, or ignore it since no one knows it's me? I hope she doesn't know herself it's me because I live near her! help! 
Welcome to the Digital Revolution - one disadvantage is that anything you do is all over the web forevermore. Your next move is a no-brainer - just let it go and put it down to experience. But learn your lesson! Think twice before you do anything in front of a camera in future.

Does he like me?

Lov says
My guy friend called me beautiful inside/out yrs ago, and recently at a party he sat super close to me on the couch. He touched my arm to talk, his leg & hip kept touching mine (he left it there), tried hard to get my attention, gave compliments, stared, said my name often, asked ques., smiled/laughed etc. But he never said he liked me, so I never reciprocated interest. Then I found out he went on a date with a girl I don't know. 2 weeks later he went the movies with me and my cousin. He offered his jacket when I was cold, and said goodnight, my name, sweet dreams. 

Yes he almost certainly likes you, but that it isn't really enough. He needs to show some courage and commitment as well if he wants to go with you. Your best strategy is to make it as easy as possible for him. Respond to his moves with gratitude and affection, give him every encouragement, but let the move be his. If he won't make it, he's not worth dating anyway.

How do I ask this girl out?

Dude says
Ok, so this may seem a little complicated, but I really like this girl and want to ask her out. We do not know each other too well. Essentially she is my good friend's sister, but he really wants me to go out with her as he sees me as an upstanding guy. So he totally approves. I just do not know how to even go about asking her out? I don't even have her number. We must about 2-3 years ago and one could tell we both liked each other a little, but I am just a wimp when it comes to girls. How can I go about this? Please, please help!?

Thank you so much!! :)

You're right - you are making this complicated and it isn't. What you're really looking for is a way to get with her free of risk, awkwardness and embarrassment. Let me save you some time and head-scratching - THERE IS NO SUCH WAY.

Feel the fear of failure, feel the awkwardness, embarrassment AND ASK HER OUT ANYWAY. Since you have access to her brother, finding out her contact details will be no hard task. Your line is simple - "Forgive me for being so bold, but I think you are lovely and I'd be most honoured if you would go on a date with me."

All of life is about taking risks. Sometimes those risks pay off, more often they don't and you burn. But every time you burn, you learn. So keep failing, keep burning, keep taking risks because THAT'S how people get successful. Burning feels better than cowardice any day. Stop procrastinating and go to it. And good luck!

btw Girls like guys who've got a little courage.

I'm still a virgin at 21!

Steven says:
I'm 21 and to be completely honest it just really doesn't work out - I've tried everything.. but for real is it a bad thing.. like do girls think of me as a lesser person because of it?

I was a virgin until I was 23 so you're by no means alone - there are plenty of twentysomething virgins out there.

I can absolutely and categorically say that there is someone for everyone, and sooner or later you will meet her. Every girl, like every guy is a unique individual with a unique perspective. One gal would find a particular guy revolting while another would find the same guy fabulous.

You don't need to impress all womankind, just the one right for you.

I would seriously consider investing in a subscription to reputable dating website. It takes all the luck and guesswork out of the equation and will generally speed things up. My best friend found his wife through a dating agency.

Of course I've assumed here that you are after sexual romance. If you just want sex, you need to look for a different kind of website! "Escorts" in the long run are much cheaper than romances but not as emotionally fulfilling of course.

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

How do I know if he likes me?

Skye says:
How do I know if a guy likes me or not ?? He is quite flirtatious but I cant tell if its just him being a guy or if he actually likes me!

We'd all love to read minds - it would make things a lot easier wouldn't it? We'd all like to know who fancies us and who doesn't. Unfortunately issues and the fear of rejection gets in the way. Short answer then is - you CAN'T know. Neither is there a formula response to this sort of situation.
All you can do is ask yourself some questions:
Do I fancy HIM?
If so, who do I expect to make the first move?
If it's him, how can I make it easy for him to ask me out?
How long am I prepared to wait?

Welcome to romance - it's a challenging game!

He says we're friends but he made a pass at me!

Andrea says
I started working with this guy. He left his number in my locker and asked me to text him. So we've been texting every night since then. A few nights ago he told me that he JUST wanted to be friends. Then he asked me out on a date and tried holding my hand and kissing me.... But yet when I ask about our status he still remains with the "friends" thing.. I'm totally lost here. Should I just leave him alone for good?

I'm sorry to tell you this but one of the most popular "Guy Lies" out there is "I just want to be friends" This usually means "I understand you don't want to f*** me now but I'd like to hang around with you and try to change your mind". He has spoken with his actions, and the kindest thing for you and him is to cut this guy loose permanently. You don't have to explain.

I'm really shy!

Shannon says
I'm really shy, I have a mild case of social anxiety and I don't cope well in awkward situations. I'm meant to be meeting some guys this afternoon but I'm so nervous. what do I do?

Bad news first - no one can wave a magic wand and make your shyness disappear. It takes time and positive experiences to build up confidence. The good news is that often people do grow out of it as they find their place, discover what they're good at and make a difference with it.
Courage tends to feed on itself - once you've done one brave thing, it's easier to do another one. But remember courage is not being fearless, it's feeling fear and doing it anyway. So be brave and meet the guys and take it from there. WARNING if you're going to be the only girl there with a bunch of guys, DON'T GO, that is unsafe. Be brave but not foolish.

There is lots of free information and advice online, not to mention lots of books on shyness, so start Googleing and do some research.

I need help splitting up with someone I care about

SueFitz77 says
My partner is my ex husband, we decided to give it another go about 18 months ago. I live with him again also. I did have my own flat, but had to give it up when I lost my job as I could no longer afford it, I moved back to my parents house, but as we started seeing each other more, I ended up staying at his all the time. I don't go around telling people we're back together. I have kind of hidden myself away again because of him. I left him and divorced him for various reasons and I always said I wouldnt go back to him, I enjoyed my freedom, I could be me again and I loved that. Anyway we did get back and now I feel that I have gone round in a circle and I am now back to where I was when we were married, I have put on alot of weight again (I lost alot when we broke up & I liked myself) and now I don't really see my family and friends as much any more because he does not like them. I even spent xmas dinner away from them and I was on limited time when I did go round and see them because of him.
He is great at being manipulative, but he can be very loving and caring at the same time. But our relationship to me is just like a friendship, I can not have sex with him it makes me feel sick. I can not talk to him, becasue of the way he makes me feel when I do try. I just dont know what to do, I will feel guilty if I just leave. I am not a strong person any more like I used to be. I tend to bury my head in the sand with things, I feel like I am stuck :-(  Any ideas? 

Time for courage. Just go, preferably when he's not around. You don't have to discuss it with him, and it wouldn't change him anyway. you could also get someone to help you move out for moral support.

What's NOT going to happen is for the SAS to burst in and whisk you away in a helicopter. No one is coming to save you - you must save yourself. However sweet he can be, he's bad for you and you need to get away from him. His feelings are his problem not yours. The bottom line is you no longer desire him. That is reason enough.

Whatever guilt or fear you may feel, do this anyway. It's courage or enslavement - the choice is that simple.

Ex won't leave me alone!

Anonymous says:
He's a bad person, he's done a lot of mental harm to me and I want nothing to do with him.

He always has a way to keep me associated with him. He tells people about how we were together and why we broke up. He accidentally contacts me. He tries to get involved with people who were my so called 'friends'. I want him out of my life? I saw him other day and he stared directly at me and then A week before that be 'accidently ' called me.

How do I get him out of my life? Don't even want to associated with this asshole no more!!

This is sadly a combination of male ego, revenge and power-tripping. I come across this sort of psychological warfare all the time. There are three things you must do. Firstly name and shame him to EVERYBODY on social media. Secondly, if you an afford it or can get help, apply for a restraining order on this individual, making it illegal for him to contact you. Thirdly, keep all evidence of his contact with you, taking photographs, recordings and keeping messages and e-mails so you can file a valid complaint to the Police.

He's not going to go away just because you want him to, so you are going to have to fight. Good luck.

Does thinking someone else during sex mean cheating?

Gold Finger says
I love her but sometimes i can't keep myself from thinking about someone else while sexing with her. Is this normal?
Any man who claims never to have done this is a liar! Plenty of women do this too btw. It doesn't really matter if the relationship is warm and loving and the sex mutually satisfying. But don't ruin things by telling her straight afterwards!

Men, could you fall in love with a woman even if she wasn't pretty?

Charlene says:
...if she had a lovely personality, sweet, caring, funny, just all round perfect, lovely person? I know that, as a woman, I would absolutely fall in love with a man like this.

There are plenty of men who would, particularly as they get older and have a wider perspective. There is someone for everyone. We can't all be Brad and Angelina and we don't need to be happy.

Monday, 26 May 2014

Is it too soon to ask this guy to hang out again?

Hailey says:
So me and this guy have been friends at school for a while now (high school) and I have the BIGGEST crush on him and he's a drummer and plays guitar and a whole bunch of instruments so I asked him if he wanted to go to the EMP (it's a huge music place where you can play their instruments and stuff) with me and two other of our friends. He said for sure and we went on Saturday.
I don't want to type the full details but he was flirting a LOT and tried to teach me stuff and kept looking at me. So when we dropped him back off at his house he thanked us for taking him and said how much fun he had. That night he texted me again and said how awesome it was and I said we should totally hang out this summer (which starts in 2 weeks) and he said "no doubt!!" Well it's only been 2 days since then but I really just want to hang out with him alone.. Our houses are walking distance apart and I don't know if it's too early to ask to hang out again?? Am I being too desperate?? PLEASE HELP 

Having the hots for someone doesn't make you desperate. Desperate is when anyone will do. Clearly that's not you. Make your move, and I hope it turns out to be a Summer you'll always remember!

Why are girls giggling, staring and acting weird around me?

Frank says:
Everywhere I go, At least where there are women, I notice almost every girl acts weird around me. Either they giggle for no reason, stare at me from a distance or in conversation and don't really approach me or conversation with me. Is it an attraction thing?? I've never had this before. It's been pretty consistent for the last 2 weeks. What's up??

As much as it may feel like it, it isn't just you they're doing this to. It's the nature of giggly girls together to single out random people to make fun of - you've just recently noticed it. It's nothing to do with attraction or repulsion, just girls taking the piss. Chill out and ignore it - it's no reflection on you.

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Our relationship has gone sour

Sarah Jane says:
My boyfriend and I are together 4years next month. We are in our 20s. In love. Everything was perfect for the first 3years. He was head over in heels in love. .always giving me compliments at my door ..whisking me away . You name it I got it. He went to Australia last summer and since he came back everything has gone downhill. We fight.. I cry. I have gotten jealous problems since his holiday I don't no why but I do. He looks at girls and says he never dose . I no he dose. I just don't feel like I'm enough for him. He never dose anything I said above anymore. I feel like hes taking me for granted. I love him god so much I don't want to leave him. He always says im this im that.. he always tells me to go away dosnt talk to me until I have to go ring or text him. Im chasing after him and why he doesn't give me the time or day anymore really. Its making me lose sleep and feel sick and worried. He always says ' I don't no anymore this relationship makes me ****' then I say ok what am I to you?! Am I your girlfriend or what if u feel like this . Then he goes crazy and says ' do I have to answer every fucking day I do want to be with you I cant deal with this ****' seriously what am I to him .  : ( 

I'm sorry to tell you this but this relationship is dead - long dead - destroyed by jealousy, possessiveness, mistrust and resentment. It's now turned toxic and is hurting both of you. He is not strong enough yet to do what's best for both of you and dump you completely.

However much you want him, I think you know in your heart that this is so over. One of you has to make the move sooner or later, and the sooner it's done the better.

Guys by the way, even loyal committed guys can't resist an ogle at other girls. That's fine so long as they keep their hands, heart and other parts solely for you. You may want to bear that in mind for future relationships. 

This guy confuses me

RainbowCloud28 says
Me and this guy have been talking for about 3 months. He suddenly ignores me, so I broke communication with him. He comes to me and says he misses me then when I message him he does not reply. He gets me so frustrated because he confuses me so much. Someone please tell what I should do or what is going on because I obviously can never get anything out of him. 

This guy is getting off on messing with your head - it's a power trip. Next time he comes round saying how great you are, treat him with the contempt he deserves. If you're going to be seduced, let it be by a guy who's more interested in you than his own ego.

Have I lost my chance?

James says:
I'm 17 and there is this girl in one of my lessons, we had barely spoke before last week but she started talking to me for no reason. Today she was sat talking with a group of her friends but when I walked in the class and sat on a different table she came and sat with me and started talking to me. Our class had an exam today and I decided to walk down early and she walked down with me even though her friends were still in the class. We were sat talking for quite a while, just the two of us even though she had friends at the other end of the corridor, before the exam started. After the exam had finished she was talking to her friends but when I walked out of the hall she came to talk to me. Does this sounds like she likes me or is she just being friendly?
The reason I am asking is because I have never had a girlfriend before and I like her but I am unsure if she likes me.
The next time I will see her will be in 2 weeks. Will this be too long to wait or could I still have a chance? Have I blown any chance or will it be ok to wait 2 weeks? 

You'll find out soon enough. Success in dating requires two important qualities - courage and persistence. What holds guys back is the fear of rejection. Rather than face the risk, they don't do anything at all. When you see her again, tell her how lovely she is and you'd be honoured if she went on a date with you. Yes she might say no or even worse leave you hanging with a "maybe" (take that as a no) and you will feel bad, but you would feel worse being a coward.

Keep asking girls long enough, you'll learn to do it better by experience, but remember everyone is a little different. Believe me I know all about failure in many fields, but you know what? - I'm no longer afraid of it. I either succeed or I learn something. Hang on in there and make your move in two weeks.

Should I leave my boyfriend now or wait?

Shel says:
I'm a 23 year old American woman, my boyfriend is a 25 year old South Korean. We have been together for 6 months. He is going back to South Korea over the summer and transferring to uni in the fall, so he won't be coming back to the same state. We have discussed how difficult it will be when he goes back to Seoul but decided it would be worth it to stick it out. When he comes back to the U.S. he won't be too terribly far away so we planned to see each other every other weekend.
Things have changed. We had a discussion the other night and came to the conclusion that he doesn't feel the same way about me, and that for him this relationship is just for fun and not really serious. Obviously I feel differently but at the same time I'm not sure if I should just let it go now, or wait the 3 weeks for him to leave and hold out for the inevitable break up I know is coming from his side.

He's going to a different college and will be meeting tons of new people. If he really doesn't have any investment in me as he says, then there really is no reason for him to not find someone else. Long distance is hard but if there is no emotional investment on his side I don't think it will work.

What should I do? 

What you should have done was to dump him on the spot the moment he said he wasn't committed to you. Since you already know how this ends, you are simply wasting time. The sooner you make the break, the sooner you can mourn for the relationship and ultimately move on to someone else. Breakups are never easy but the pain of them will be made worse by putting it off. Muster your courage and make the break now. You are worth more than being someone's temporary comfort girl.

He hasn't asked me to marry him!

Melissa says:
My boyfriend tells me he wants to marry me all the time but I haven't seen a ring or heard a proposal, its more of actions speak louder than words thing on that part, but he takes care of me , never embarrassed of me when I'm not looking my best, I feel he loves me for me even tho I'm hard on him.
His birthday is coming up and I would love to marry him, i found the prefect engagement ring for him but I'm unsure if I should propose or just get the ring and wait until he does or just get him something else for his birthday.

There are clearly many positives in your relationship and it would be a shame if you spoiled it with your impatience. Guys who take care of you properly and are fanciable as well are not so easy to come by. It's perfectly understandable how you feel but you need to let it go until he's ready, and just get on with loving each other and getting ready to be a family. Focus on what you've already got rather than what you haven't yet.

Friday, 23 May 2014

Which guy do I choose?

Emily says:
There are a few guys that I like but can't decide what I should do.
Guy 1:
I have known him for a little over a year now and whenever I see him I get really excited. Like my heart is gonna explode but he doesn't seem to give me much attention.
Guy 2:
I met him about 6 months ago. I am pretty sure he likes me or is just friendly. He asks to hang out with me and play video games. (I am a real big gamer).
Guy 3:
I met him about 6 months ago and I know he likes me. He broke up with his previous girlfriend for me and tries pretty hard to make me happy.
Guy 4:
I met about 2 months ago through a friend. We were playing games online and he was added to the Skype call. A few weeks I met him in person. I know he likes me for one he told me and when we went out the other day he kissed me but now he isn't talking to me much, which might have to do with his best friend dying but everything is still confusing.
Any help would be great, thank you! :D 

There is no formula! Logic doesn't come in to relationships. You just have to go with your heart. It will be the one you can least bear to be without. Having said that, be honest with yourself whether you really want to commit to anyone yet. The time may not be right. You are within your rights to "play the field" so long as you are honest and open about doing so.

Should I stay friends with my ex?

Curious says:
He left me because I broke his heart and then he didn't really talk to me for three months unless I spoke to him then all of a sudden the other day he asked to come see me n i said yes. We ended up kissing and then I asked him if he's wanting to be back with me. He said no he wants to explore (as in other girls etc, he's 20) and he said he does love me but doesn't want to be with me because he doesn't trust me whatsoever and because of what I did. 

Yet he was acting the same, kissing me on the forehead cuddling with me n acting like my boyfriend so I didn't really feel the pain and hurt until he went home later n to make it worse I had sex with him. It hurt because I realised he's still choosing not to be with me regardless.
What do you think of the situation and should I stay friends with him or?? 

There's no question that some people do become friends with their exes, but only when they can stick to the boundaries that friendships involve.

In your case I don't think you can - you will just mess with each other's heads and keep hurting each other. It will be better for both of you to make a complete break with no hard feelings. There is also now too much distrust and hurt to resurrect a romance. Learn the lessons from what went wrong and move on.

He gave me Chlamydia TWICE

Anonymous says:
- Been seeing a guy for about 4 months now, we were pretty much in a relationship but without the official 'label' of being in one.
-We used to have sex often and i had symptoms for chamydia once so i got checked and i was positive, he said he was negative and it definately wasnt him and must have been my ex. I asked my ex and he was negative too, so i thought it mustve been this new guy, but i gave him a second chance because i really liked talking to him and i knew that he was probably just embarased and if he secretly had it he would get treated for it anyway.
- So 2 months go by and we're still talking and having sex and i get tested again just to be safe and it turns out im positive for chlamydia again, so i sent him a long abusive message saying that he has been lying this whole time and telling him how stupid he was for not getting treated properly and for giving to me again.
-He lies to me for another 2 days saying he doesnt know what im talking about and is upset that im acussing him and later on he calls me and admits to having it from the very start.
-He said he was sorry a milliom times and is literally begging me to keep talking to him, but im not sure what to do. he really hurt me and put my health at risk and let me have unprotected sex with him while he hadn't fully finished his treatment which i think is so rude and disrespectful, but i really like him and he promised me he'll never lie again.

This would be his last chance, should I forgive him? 

It's time for you to stop being a mug. You should have dumped this guy the very first time he lied to you about such a serious health issue. You have absolutely nothing to gain being anywhere near this man. Trust is absolutely essential to a relationship and this highly irresponsible individual is not worthy of any.

And in future, INSIST on a condom with any new sexual partner until there is a long-term monogamous commitment.

Too needy?

Carissa says:
How do you know if you're being too needy?

Unfortunately there isn't a formula. We all have genuine needs and expectations from partners and we all don't like being suffocated. Neither of these are wrong. Any relationship is a compromise where you give space but also expect some commitment.

The bottom line is that your partner needs to be able to satisfy your minimum requirements for attention. Those requirements are decided by you being honest with yourself. If a partner is not prepared to meet that minimum requirement, you need to end it and move on. Never settle for a relationship that isn't making you happy.

He can't afford to get married

Brad says:
I know this guy, who says that he can't afford a married life. I don't know why he says that , but every time the topic comes up he simply says - Marriage is a luxury, he can't afford!
What amazes me is that, he is not poor, i think we can say he has an average job with average salary pretty much what most people make, still he considers that he can't afford a marriage life. From what i know this guys, he isn't a miser.

Could this be actually true, that someone just can't afford a married life? 

If you want it badly enough, you find a way. This is just another classic case of a guy scared of commitment.

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Is my friend a bad friend?

SuzieBelle says:
My best friend and I have been friends for about 5 years. She's a huge princess, her parents give her everything she wants and shes very disrespectful towards them- it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I dont think shes ever been told 'no' to in her life. Almost always when we hang out, we do what she wants. She can be very patronising- ie, she often corrects my mistakes to make me feel stupid. 

She is also extremely attached/ addicted to her phone. When we're alone together, she is almost constantly on facebook or snapchat. She isnt really like this when other people are around. She says its because were 'so close' that she can just be on her phone or laptop and not talk to me without it being weird. Sometimes when I make conversation with her, she'll act really disinterested and just be on her phone, whereas when she speaks to me i try to give her my undivided attention. 

I don't know what to do anymore... I've thought this for a long time but I don't really have many friends and I know I'd miss having someone around all the time if i "broke up with her". What should I do/ how should I talk to her about this?

You have a very confused idea of what a friend is. I'm sorry to tell you that your "friend" is not a friend at all, just someone you hang with. The benefits of her company are outweighed by the fact that she offers you no support and loyalty at all. You really could do better than this. Look out for people who are more appreciative of the generosity you offer and return it - they will ultimately become your true friends. Show a little courage and self-respect and ditch this deadweight  

What should I do about my ex?

Ryan says:
I'm a guy (16) and me and my ex broke up 5 months ago but have seriously texted all day everyday for about 3 and a half years she's my Bestfriend and I love her to bits anyway we broke up because of trust issues and stuff that has well and truly sorted itself out. She knows I want to get back together with her but says she wants to be single but still loves me, we still text all day everyday and we both get jealous if someone texts someone else, what should I do? Should I say I need an answer me or single or should I let her get jealous and miss me by not talking which would be hard on both of us. 

You have already had your answer - she wants to stay single. You have been well-and-truly friend-zoned! You have two choices. You can accept this and just be a good friend, or if it's too frustrating, cut her off completely. She will be hurt but it's in the best interest of both of you if you can't take NO for an answer. 

I have questions about sex

Georgia says:
I'm 18, and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay that way for a while for several reasons. But right now, I have several sex questions that honestly I just can't ask my parents because they'll think I'm sexually active or something.
First, how do I get over the fear of sex? Right now, the idea seems crazy and scary. Second, does it hurt the first time for girls? I know how sex works, and quite frankly, it sounds really painful.. Third, how do you know what to do when it happens? Do instincts just take over, or do you have to learn? That's it for right now. If you could answer my questions without being rude, I would really appreciate it! 

First question is do you really want sex or a sexual relationship? Could you happily live a lifetime without one? If the answer is NO to the first question and YES to the second, you may be asexual - a genuine sexual orientation.
If you like the idea of sex, your fear will be overcome by a very caring sensitive man or by a therapist who will get to the root of your fear and help you overcome it.

There aren't any rules about what you do in sex - the short answer is whatever feels nice. This takes some trial-and-error and experimentation.

The first time may hurt as your hymen is ruptured but some girls only have flimsy ones or even none, so there's no pain. However it WILL hurt if you are not fully sexually aroused first and the man just shoves in his penis all the way straight away. The right guy who is gentle and caring is absolutely crucial to a good first-time experience.

By the way I was a virgin until I was 23 so you are no freak!

My friends' bad grammar drives me nuts!

Brooke says:
I am the smartest out of all my friends my age, but that isn't very hard.. I don't know why I'm not at the same intellectual level as them, we've all had exactly the same education... I don't care that they don't get A's, or that their thought processes are a little behind mine, but some things they do irritate me quite a lot. I'm a bit of a grammar nazi, and my friends write posts using "there" in the place of "their" and "they're". They say "actual" instead of "actually".. For example: "I'm actual so tired". They say "you's".. "You's guys are my best friends!"

I don't know why this annoys me so much but it does! I know I haven't got perfect grammar, and I don't structure my sentences correctly all the time but..
I think I'm worried what they say will rub off on me..

So, why do they talk like that? It's a recent thing.. Why don't I? Their families don't speak like it..
And how can I get over it? 

You have a personality trait called "obsessive-compulsive" - you are a "place for everything and everything in its place" kinda person.
This is how you are and there's nothing you can do about it! However, to get by in society you are going to have to practice disciplines of acceptance. Firstly you have to accept yourself for how you are and how you like things, and as far as you can, have it that way. Be open and honest about it and true friends will understand. Secondly you have to accept that you live in a world full of people not as exact as you are!

Divide your world into a personal space where everything is how you want it and a social space where you have to wear a "space-suit of tolerance". Live a balanced life where you spend time equally in both. Talk to other similar obsessive-compulsives online and share experiences. Also look up the work of obsessive-compulsive comedian John Richardson on You Tube.

I've got a teen uncle!

Anonymous says:
I'm a 13 y/o girl, with a younger 11 y/o brother and we have an uncle whose 18 y/o. Little back story I got from mom, our grandma was 18 and granddad was 21, they were boyfriend/girlfriend, at the same time, became young parents to my dad and his twin (our other uncle)

Dad and uncle, grew up mostly with my great grandparents, so grandma could attend college, while granddad was away in the army. Our dad and uncle grew up to become army men themselves, when they were 21 y/o in the army, our uncle died, it left dad in a terrible state, due to the loss of his twin. Then at 23 y/o, dad became a big brother to our 2nd uncle, to ease the pain of the lost uncle, so, dad could have a brother again. This is the uncle, who is just 5 years older to me, 7 years older to my brother.

From my grade 1, till my grade 7, he used to be with us in the same school, now he is in college. We love him obviously and look at him as an 'older brother figure', he does have a protective nature towards me. But sometimes I feel weird, having to tell people that he is my uncle, I can't lie on it and have to tell that he is my uncle...people have mistaken him as my brother/cousin, at some point people thought he was my boyfriend O_o

Our uncle was given a space by dad, to live at our home and attend college at the same time. Dad kinda treats him like a 'son' rather than a brother and dad is 41, still in the army. I feel awkward at times, is it normal for such family age gaps ? 

You'd be surprised how common this is - there's plenty of teen uncles and aunts everywhere. It's all very normal, natural and often nice. Never be ashamed of those who care about you. Be proud and grateful. 

Am I wanted or friend-zoned?

Mermaidsienna says:
There is this guy...he always talks to me, says hello, asks me how I am, what I got up to on the weekend etc..
We used to talk on facebook too and he wanted to know my type of guy and he thought I was mysterious.
When I wasn't feeling well he walked me to my class and would keep popping up through the day which I thought was cute.

There was a day he kept popping up around me a couple of times and when we said bye at the end of class day he beat me to the bus stop which never happens and I saw him and said 'how did you get here so fast?' and he laughed.
He is good looking, popular with lots of the girls etc but is still single.

Then recently I used my car to drive to the shops during break time and he asked if I could give him a ride which I did and he said thanks and made this comment- 'I will try to find you again later' whatever that means haha.
Now even though he is caring towards me does that mean he likes me or has he friend-zoned me?

Well if he just wants be friends he's going way beyond the call of duty. This guy almost certainly wants you, but charming and caring as he is, he's a little short on courage, because he hasn't asked you out. You therefore have three options:
You can wait until he finally does
You can drop some very heavy hints (guys don't get subtle ones) that you would say yes if asked
You could ask HIM out.

He may not be so brave but he does seem a gentleman and that's not so common, so a relationship is certainly worth pursuing. If I was you I'd make him do at least some work and expect to be asked, but make it clear he's on a winner if he does.  

Can I stop my Mother In Law hating me?

Amy says:
My fiance and I met in 2003 when we were teenagers, I was 17 and he was 19. We are now adults I am 28 and he is 30 so its been 11 years. My mother in law has never really liked me in fact she has always hated me. Partly cause my parents are lower class and recovering drug addicts.She has told me numerous times that because of who they are, or were, that she see's me as not good enough for her son. 

My father in law used to always kinda kept her in check. There were occasions when she offered to buy her son a house if he left me or would go long periods of time without speaking to him because he refused to break up with me. In 2010/11 we actually did break up for 10 months because of family pressure and it causing us strain. 

My fiance broke down without me and turned to drugs, I shut down socially and kinda just kept to myself and my family. We got back together cause we honestly we belong together. I got him to get clean which his mother knows. Anyway a few months after he got clean his father became sick and I got pregnant. 

We uprooted and moved back near his family to help them out cause his father had cancer and where we were we had no help or support with a child. I actually dropped out of college and he left a great job. I stayed with his dad during the day while everyone worked and helped out around the house as much as I could. My mother in law was starting to take out her frustration with the whole situation on us.

You gave been incredibly forgiving and tolerant with this truly ghastly woman, and big respect to you for making every effort to win her over. Unfortunately you have failed. If you were going to win her over, you would have done it already.

Unfortunately other people often carry a bucket load of issues that were there long before you ever came along. You are not responsible for any of these issues or another persons inability to be reasonable. In an ideal world, once your Father In Law has passed on, the ideal move would be to rid your marriage of this malign influence for good. However that requires your husband to agree.

At the very least, keep this woman at arm's length - you have wasted enough time already trying to win an approval that will never come.  

Is he into me or not?

Olivia says:
For 3 months, Ive been talking to this guy and we went on a few dates. While texting he uses lots of winky faces and :-* he'll ask about my day and how I'm doing - he's the first to initiate texts.
During our dates we have heavy make out sessions and sometimes dry hump but hasnt gone further. (I was blunt with him and asked if he had a condom but he didnt so we said next time we will) On dates he's touchy like holds my hand and etc but hasnt asked me to be his gf so its kinda confusing what we are. he's complimented me on my confidence and we have a teasing kinda relationship but realize that he sometimes likes other girls pictures on ig/fb

We used to text each other every day but now its only a few times a week..what do you think is he into me or not?

Just wanted another opinion :) 

If you're serious about wanting a relationship with this guy you need to up your terms. It seems to be you were fully prepared to have sex and expect no commitment. If a casual encounter is what you want, that's fine but if it's a relationship, you need to use that confidence of yours to get a little respect. That means you only have sex with a committed boyfriend, loyal to you alone.

Even guys who are happily committed like "window shopping" - which is harmless enough so long as his hands stay by his side and penis stays in pants (or in his own hand) when you're not around. However this is an aside on the nature of men in general.

Show some self-respect, sister! If he doesn't ask you out, or you're not prepared to ask HIM out, wait for a guy that has the courage and commitment to want to be yours alone.

Have I tried hard enough for her?

John says:
So... since I don't kind of want to talk with my parents about this, I came here.

It's this girl I have a crush on since I was at a national math Olympiad with her and I just don't know if I tried hard enough to show her how I am feeling. I think we match each other quite a lot due to the fact that both of us like math and we both are quiet and shy with people we don't know very well as I've seen.
Now comes the problem: I have tried to be kind and funny and to have an interest in what she likes or not (basically that is just me in most cases) but i don't know if I did good in certain situations. Sometimes I am too shy to express my feelings. At the same time I am the awkward penguin i.e. I am very geeky and not so sociable (lack of discussion topics mainly).

E.g: Two days ago we and other colleagues were at a contest at a foreign city. Surprisingly we were offered a flower for the prize we have taken plus other material prizes (I never saw that before). I said to myself "go for it" and I gave that flower to her. She seemed happy with that... but then again I don't know very much about people.

As a final detail: she is 18, being 2 years older than me and she will go to study in another country; we have chatted on facebook and she used :* a few times (I know, I know, I am really awkward for not knowing what that even means).

To sum it up, it has been a lot of thinking and feeling weird in writing this question so please don't make too much fun of me. 

The odds are stacked against you on this one. At my age, two years difference is nothing, but the gulf between 16 and 18 is like the Grand Canyon. She is legally an adult and you are not. However it's not completely impossible - if you have bucket-loads of courage, never give up and are prepared to do whatever it takes, you may win her. Declare your, love, ask her out and take it from there.

I wouldn't put any money on this crush becoming anything more than that, unless you are even more determined than you are intelligent, and this not a quality often found in even bright teens. Sorry guy, but I'm telling you how it is.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

My marriage is in trouble!

Nicole says:
In July of 2013, my husband got with a group of people that he thought would help him in his business. They took him in, gave him a car, financed his club gigs, and kept him busy. Within a few months, he stopped coming home, started partying all night and hanging with strippers. He even told me he wanted a divorce because he was tired of me bitching about him not coming home. My husband was never like this before!! This went on for 5 months. I was so hurt, I would cry every day.

 He would see me cry and walk right out the door. As it turned out, those people lied to him about a lot of things so he decided to stop associating with them. He came home and apologized and was back to the person he was before these people came along. My thing is, I can't get over it!

He was so arrogant and nasty to me when he thought those people were helping him. I hate him for it and he knows it. He's trying so hard to make me forget, and is being such a sweetheart, but I'm scarred. I get so angry with him and he'll just sit there like a little puppy. Honestly, i feel like I just don't know what to do. I'm still hurting from it 3 months later. Please help! 

To say I forgive you is easy to say, but as you are finding out, very hard to do!

The fact is that your relationship has been damaged and will never be the same again, because now you know what he's capable of doing in the wrong circumstances. Trust, once lost, is very difficult and very slow to come back again.

If this relationship is to continue or if it doesn't, that hurt ISN'T going to ever go away. At best, it will become less painful and easier to carry with time. You have to accept that like you would for any bad experience. Your husband won't ever be able fix it.

The question is therefore not how to fix it, but do you still love him, and do you still want him? If the answer is YES then dictate reasonable terms for staying together - and if he breaks them, end it. But beating him continually over the head with what he did will not help you, him or the marriage. If you are going to carry on, you will have to be able to live with the hurt in return for being treated better from now on.

But only you know how strong you are and how deep your love is. Be completely honest with yourself. Only give him this second chance if you definitely don't want to be without him, and you are prepared to accept that he is not as strong as you would like him to be. 

Am I pretty or ugly?

Neru says:
Please be honest! 

If you need the approval of others for how you look, you're going to have a very unhappy life. You are neither hideous nor Shilpa Shetty - you are average like most of us. This means that some will find you attractive and some won't. If you want to be happy it's very important that you have the right attitude - which is this: if you like me I will raise my glass, and if you don't you can kiss my ***! If you want to be really attractive, learn how to be confident. Confidence is sexy!

Is this kind of relationship wrong?

Anonymous Says:
To enter a fwb or F*** buddy agreement because that's what you want even though you are aware the other party could potentially become attached? Is this selfish? Should you avoid this situation or is there something you could do to prevent that attachment forming maybe like discussing the terms or something beforehand?

It is always a risky business. Such relationships/arrangements are almost always very temporary as people inevitably change and want something more or something else. However, this doesn't make them wrong if it suits both of you. Go into his with your eyes open. There is a high risk of it ending badly and it almost certainly won't last that long, but it's your choice.

She doesn't want to talk to me so often

Shadow says:
 I'm in relationship with a girl for 2.5 years. She is in her mid 30's (9 years older than me). We stay in different cities - about 4 hours drive. We used to talk on phone every night, meeting each other every weekend.

By time goes, meeting weekly has became biweekly and sometimes even lesser. She started to hang out with her friends a lot. Long trip (around 15 days), short trips(1-2 days) and hang out late frequently.We talk over the phone lesser, 3-4 times a week instead of everyday. She used to spend her semester break with me, but now, she prefer stay back with her friends.

I told her about my feeling of being ignored by her. She just take it easy, saying she needs some space. She told me that loving her doesn't mean to occupy her.

It's sad to hear that she said she's busy and don't have time to meet, but she has extra time to hang out with friends. That's truly hurt.

I just hope to spend time from her. For me, talking with her over the phone every night is the only time I could be with her as we're living apart. Am I asking too much? Besides, I doubted if she will spend more and more time with friends?

I even thought of giving up this relationship. What should I do? 

It's very difficult to keep a long-distance relationship going. It only works if the two people involved are really crazy about each other. I'm afraid that clearly your girlfriend likes you but is NOT besotted with you. The relationship is cooling and will eventually go completely cold. Your hassling her is only speeding up the end of the relationship.
Ladies do need their friendships and for women good friends are as close as sisters. With you not being around so much, she has clearly formed some close friendships. You could just accept a cooler relationship, but I think that's delaying the inevitable. Make the break now and look for a relationship that has the intensity you are looking for from someone you can actually get to see.

Are my parents divorced or not?

Bob says:
Me and my family lived in the UK until I was 7. My family except my dad lives in Australia now. He lives in the UK for "work" but sometimes when my mum rings him my mum cries. Both my parents don't wear their wedding rings. I don't know if they are and I've tried bringing it up but my mum refuses. I still think they are though I dont know what to do. Please help.

It doesn't really matter. It's between them, you just get the fall-out. The fact is their relationship is obviously on the rocks, which is not your fault. You have no choice but to get on with your own life, be there for your mum and do your best to make sure any relationships of your own don't go the same way. 

I am confused about a shy guy

Rosie says:
There's this guy that I happen to like, but not sure if he feels the same way.  I'm close friends with his sister. Before we'd just shake hands but recently he started hugging me, but surprisingly he only hugs me where there are no people around. Sometimes when I go to his house he only says hi and pretends not to know me. In addition sometimes he acts childish if I'm there, and once we went to the park with his brothers and sister, they made a joke about their parents kissing in the car, and he said that he'd like to do that with his wife. He's a nice polite guy so I'm quite confused as whether his only being nice or there's more to it. He hasn't asked for my number but has added me on Facebook and his mum told my mum that she wanted me to marry him
Any suggestions will be much appreciated 

Do you really want to hang around waiting for this guy firstly to be sure what he wants, and if it's you, to ask you out? You might be waiting a long time. Unless you want to make all the running and ask HIM out, forget him. Don't settle for second best - you want someone who wants you bad, or you're better off single.

I don't know what she wants!

Ana says:
Okay we were only a month into a relationship,and I was giving her the amount of attention she would give me, that way I wouldn't seem so needy, she was bothered by it she always thought I was playing games with her because I didn't text her back immidiatley, I gave her space that's what she wanted, but she wanted me to text back right away which is a bad thing it led us to an end, she stoped talking and texting me for 2 days no response just because she felt like it, I got upset or worried what if something happened and well she said I pushed her away that I didn't give her space idk what to say she called me immature but she's the 1 who broke up threw a text then she started denying that we were even together idk she's just trying to find an excuse for me she has nothing on me idk though I gave her everything idk wtf happed.. 

You are not going mad, it isn't you! You are dealing with someone who is in every sense confused, and there's nothing you can do about it - you can't unconfuse someone you're in a relationship with - that's the job of a therapist.
Sometimes you have to shrug your shoulders and accept that for some people you can't do anything right. You'd be better off moving on to someone you can win with - you are not responsible for someone else's issues.

He's changed

Carissa says:
There's this guy that I've been really good friends with for a while and we recently started partying together, and like three weeks ago we were coming home from a party and I knew he wanted me because he had his hands all over me and I was laying on him but i didn't want to do anything because we were both pretty drunk and I didn't want it to be awkward between us. But last week Saturday we had a really intense make out session and we were completely sober and he walked me home after and it was really cute. But we went back to school on Monday and his face normally lights up when he sees me and he gives me a hug and all that but he didn't do that and he hasn't talked to me since and I don't even know what to do. I'm not sure if I like him and want a relationship but im certain I want my friend back and I don't know how to go about it. We're both 17 btw 

Guys are usually not good at expressing their feelings so the initiative will have to come from you. You need the courage to ask him what's wrong and tell him you don't want to lose his friendship. Be brave and good luck.

Saturday, 17 May 2014

What does it mean when my boyfriend masturbates thinking about another girl that likes him?

Alexis says
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.

His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.

Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.

The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.

It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.

Why does my ex keep looking at me?

Kitty says
I am in love with my ex and always will be. And he keeps looking at me and checking me out but sometime he keep his distance ...anyways does he still have feelings for me even though he broke up with me?

You are giving him all the cards. Whenever he feels down or needs his ego boosting he will turn to you knowing he can get sex and comfort on demand. Love has to be two-way. As much as you want him, you should only let him back into your life on certain conditions of commitment. You will be less hurt keeping him at a distance than you will living in hope he will commit to you. 

I want to be more than just friends

Jim Says:
I've known this girl for about six years (a long time, I know). I know that she's always seen me just as a friend, and maybe even a little below her level (though I should point out that she has been very supportive of me in some tough times). I've always liked her, regardless.
Last year she was in her first relationship, with a guy she barely knew beforehand. He broke it off very quickly, but she was devastated for the rest of the year. From this, I can see that she likely felt no attraction toward me at all up to that point since she would rather go with a guy who essentially was a stranger.

But this year has been slightly different. She's single still, and I hang out with her a lot more than I used to (but always in a group setting with other friends). She seems to pay a lot of attention specifically to me during group conversations. She laughs at almost everything remotely funny that I say. She teases me and argues with me constantly.

The thing is, she's outgoing and just likes to laugh and tease. So she treats other guys this way, and has always treated me this way. It's just that NOW it's more obvious and often with me. She also seems to routinely try to sit close to me in groups, even to the point of legs touching. That never used to happen. And she seems overall more comfortable and open with me in conversation.

Does she like me, or am I just imagining it because I want her to like me? Is the way she interacts with me just a sign of friendship? 

I'm sorry to tell you that you are almost certainly right. You have been "friend-zoned" from day 1. She clearly loves your company and wants to turn to you when she is sad and enjoys your comfort. Unfortunately for it to turn to romance, you have to make her wet as well.

Of course, people's feelings can change, but do you really want to hang around and wait? You might be waiting forever! If you value her friendship too and can live with the frustration, do nothing but enjoy each other's company. If not, even though it may hurt, it's in the interest of both of you to stop seeing her.

Your third option is to tell her how you feel. This is a big risk - if you still don't arouse her then you will have made the relationship awkward and you will have to commit to being a friend only from now on.

If it was me, I would be shrugging my shoulders and looking elsewhere. If I can't turn them on I don't want to know.

I just found out my mom isn't my real mom!

Anonymous says:
I just feel like I've been cheated. I'm 15 & my mom (or some random lady) just told me I'm adopted. She was a single mom so I always asked since I was a lil kid,"Where's dad?" But she just says,"I'll tell U when the times right :)" But Now I'm 15, & she tells me she not even my mom, WTF? She said, she was my mom's best friend is high school, but my mom left to another country when I was a baby.

It's weird, she still feels like my mom, but she's not, WTF? What a waste of time. I mean, she was never mean to me, she was actually my best friend, up until I was like 12, she's read me stories b4 I slept, but then I overcame my shyness & made friends my own age. She's sweet, but I want my real family. 

You are bound to be shocked, confused and upset by this bombshell. It will take some time for you to get your head around it. The person who looked after you may not be your biological mom but whether she's MOM is a decision made by YOU. Has she loved you? Has she always been there for you? Can you count on her when everything gets shitty? Do you care about her? If so, she deserves the title MOM. Give it a couple of weeks to take it all in then decide if you want to meet your biological mom. Contact other adopted kids and listen to their own experiences.

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

My separated husband is threatening suicide

mns says
We have been separated for almost six months now and he's just treated me like absolute **** when it is just me and him (even if we meet up) but act like the perfect person infront of people. he's created an image to everybody , all our friends and common friends that he's the godliest of person and has this whole persona to prove me and the trauma i have been through to be absolute lies. i wrote an email to his boss about his abusive behaviour and the boss didnt do anything. i don't want to reach till the cops but now it looks like i wont be left with a choice.

I am in desperate need of advice !! anyone who went through the same plz tell me what steps u took to avoid trouble legally and emotionally! :(

If he does commit suicide that would be a decision made by him not you. You are not responsible for the unreasonable behaviour of someone else. Tell EVERYBODY what he's doing, and have no hesitation about going to the Police. There is no way out of emotional trauma for you - you need the courage to face it. Get recorded and video evidence if you can - that's what Justin Lee Collins' partner did, and then put it all over the media - quite rightly. Rid your life of this devious manipulative and selfish individual.

Should I be angry with my boyfriend?

Laura says:
My best friend is close friends with my boyfriend and the other day she went to his house to study but they ended up just watching a movie, my favourite movie. It hurt my feelings because they never even told me that they were going to do that. They meet up alone sometimes and make plans with eachother, but I just feel jealous because I feel like that should be me. Just by the way she has a boyfriend but doesnt have a very good relationship with him. They talk and text all the time and Im usually fine with it but it just really bugged me this time. I feel silly bringing it up because she is my best friend and they didnt do anything. Its not that I dont want him to have any friends that are girls, I just dont think that its appropriate for them to do that without even telling me or my best friends boyfriend who doesnt even know about it. A while ago when I wasn't around they also went to the movies alone together.
What should I do? Do you think I'm being paranoid?
Thanks for the help :)

You're not imagining it - this isn't right. If he is keeping his meetings with her from you, they are spending time alone together and her own relationship is rocky, anyone would be suspicious. And you don't actually know if they did anything or not. I think expecting you to accept all this is too big an ask. Never trust a man who wants to be alone with another woman and wants you to accept it. I fear that your best friend may put her own feelings before any loyalty to you.
I'm afraid that this is not going to end well whatever you decide. The bravest and best thing to do is issue an ultimatum - this stops or they're both "fired". To be honest I would go further than this and dump the pair of them right now. The foundation of any relationship is trust, and you cannot trust either of these two.

I want him to help him heal

Living Life says
Almost a year ago I made the biggest mistake of my life; cheating on my fiance/father of my children. I was afraid of commitment and was not thinking right, but never mind why I did it, point is it was done. I have realized how wrong I was and how much I have hurt him. I don't ever want him to know that pain again, and I know that I will never do this again because of that. I love this man more than my next breath, and just want him to be happy, but I'm running out ideas of how to help him. I've even tried telling him that he would be happier if he'd leave me, and I've waived my rights to child support if he were to do so. Can anyone give advice on how to help him?

There are three separate issues here. Firstly he needs to be at least willing to forgive you - that will come first. Healing however will take some considerable time, and you will need to be patient. It's a consequence of your action and you will have to live with it for some time - there is no quick fix. The third issue is trust - that will take even longer and may never come back fully. Again this is a price you will have to accept and pay. It's important not to keep going over in your mind what you did as that will help neither of you. You can only change what you do now. Focus on that, and if your mutual love is strong enough, your relationship will survive.

I secretly like fat girls

Raphael says:
You see i have this huge obsession for big girls, now i wanna date this girl..but my friends are calling
her fat and ugly. how do i deal with that?

Deal with it in just the same way you would need to if you were gay - be out and proud! Come out of the online fat forum and accept yourself for who you are and what you like. Ask her out and show her how proud of her you are. Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter. 

My girlfriend is bugging me

Tron says:
I'm curious if I am just being a total asshole or not.
I've been dating this girl for 4 months and really enjoy spending time with her and she has a great personality, BUT after having spent more and more time with her, is it normal that I find her kind of irritating, because she tries WAY too hard to CONSTANTLY be cute and like quirky around me?

For example, she almost always talks to me in a high-pitched really cute voice and says stuff like
" BAAAABBBEEE" and over-pronounces it kind of like a kid. And she'll just do random stuff like do dorky/cute dances in front of me in her underwear while I'm watching TV, which yea is attractive the first time but when you know someone's doing it for your attention you're kind of like... meh. And then like, when she does cute stuff and I try to ignore it I can see her in the corner of my eye like staring at me really hard to see my reaction to whatever cute thing she just did.

Most guys don't like girls being too affectionate all the time - it's kinda oppressive. Your next move comes from asking yourself this question honestly: how would I feel if she dumped me right now? If the answer is relief you're with the wrong girl - dump her now. You will break her heart but you will both be better off in the long run. If you would miss her terribly then you need to either accept it or tell her to cool it - explain what you want her to do. Whatever you do, you will need the courage to do the right thing. 

He texts me but that's all

Dina says
I think is obvious, that he likes me, ever since I added him on facebook the end of last month he's been texting me until now, he did tell me that I was pretty and flirt it a little with me in the begining when I recently facebook friend him..but he hasn't told me anything like Hey I like you and I want to get to know you better, I'm just texting along with him.

He doesn't have the courage to tell you! If you still really like him, ask HIM out, but otherwise look for someone with bigger balls.

I want to date an ugly girl

Mike says:
I'm a 16 year old male. OK so there's this girl who I like she really likes me too but I can't ask her out because she is ugly to my friends also I'm really popular at school by dating her I will be made fun of and will not be popular anymore. What can I do can I date her in private - help!

Either show some courage and be prepared to pay the price of dating her, or leave her alone. She deserves someone who is not ashamed of her, not a coward.

I want to commit suicide

Anonymous says
I'm 20 years old girl. I got married to my boyfriend. Even I left my family for him.
He promised me a lot before marriage but when we got married. He was some other kind of person. I left my studies for him. I was very bright student in my college. He promised me to continue my studies but he never stand with his words.
He did so many mistakes so I did.
Every time I forgive him. Since 8 months we r living separate but we talk on phone.
He lives in Australia. I'm in India. For some immigration reasons, I can't go to Australia. He doesn't want to come here but he can. He gives importance to his career not me. I still love him. Please reply all how to die easily.

You have a wonderful fulfilling life to come once this heartbreak has passed - do not cheat yourself out of it because of this. You do not need to end your life, you need to rebuild it again from scratch. If your own life does not bring you happiness, instead bring happiness to others. Get involved in some charity work and bring comfort to others - the sad, the poor, the lonely and the sick. Start making a difference to other people's lives. When our own lives brings us no joy, do not waste it, put it to use in the service of others. Do not die prematurely in a meaningless way - leave this life only when it has fully served the greater good.

Confusing Behaviour

Anonymous Says:
Hung out with this guy Ive been talking to for a few months and went on a few dates before. This last date he was more open and teasing. We ended up making out and dry sex..he was really turned on. Didnt go further because he didnt bring a condom but I was the one who was blunt and asked.

When he was leaving in the morning he said he cant believe where the time went and was sad. he kissed me good bye he said next time. He's been liking my fb pictures since but finally texted me after 4 days asking about my day, finals and etc. but why did he wait so long to reach out to me

Think he's truly interested or am I just another option for him?

wanted a guys honest opinion :)

There isn't enough information to draw any conclusion. Guys are often not good at expressing their feelings or knowing how to develop a relationship. So it boils down to you. If you want a guy who's assertive, knows what he wants and goes to get it, this is clearly not the guy for you. If on the other hand you like him and want to help him out, tell him what you want in terms how often you meet and how you want him to behave. If he goes for it, fine, but if he's hard work to get a response from, maybe you need to move on