Diana says:
I am 20 years old and I have to admit that I honestly don't know what
type of partner I would become. When I was in high school, I had a few
immature relationships, but that was definitely not love. Then I met
this guy, we were in a relationship for 2 years, but it wasn't healthy
so I decided to end it. Ever since that serious relationship, I went
back to the old "me" where I just went around date different guys, maybe
had a few relationships, but my heart was never committed to them. I
don't know exactly who I am and I don't know what is love (It's too
abstract for me to interpret). My relationship stories are a ritual.
First, I would feel something, then I thought I was in love so I stepped
ahead, and then relationship, but it ALWAYS have a maximum amount of
date (even before I had that serious relationship, I was like that). It
always ends within a month or so, only that single guy passed 1 month.
I don't really know what's going on with me, and sometimes I'm well
confused with my emotions. Eventually I don't want to trust my feelings
anymore, because it's only temporary. I am an introverted extrovert. I
am able to please people, to make people laugh, but I'm not good at
expressing my feelings. I guess I have this trust issue for people in
general, I communicate with my head more than interacting with others
when it comes to difficulties. The relationships became extremely
difficult for me because I always tend to rationalize everything, and I
have this evil thing where I always have to test guys. (Like asking
random questions and analyze their answers, or judge them based on their
behavior).
In my past relationships, I was never the girl where I would depend on
the guy, and to be honest, most guys I date were just too immature, dumb
for me. I am not trying to downgrade men, but I just think I'm way to
intellectual than most of them. I feel like I can never let my guard
down, and I trust myself way too much so I doubt others (girls are
another matter, I'm talking about men here). Once in a while, I would
fancy a relationship with a man so that someone can accompany me, but
this 'need' diminishes as the reality and facts hit. I really can't
picture myself being with anyone, and days passed by, It's been four
years since my last serious relationship. I know I'm still young, but I
am well confused here, so please if anyone could answer these questions
for me. Appreciate it!
Your problem is, never having been in love, or having no idea what it is
or if it really exists, you don't really know what you want from a
relationship.
You can pick up guys any time, but unfortunately, you can't choose love,
love chooses you, at a time and place of its own choosing. Some folks
never experience it.
However, none of these means there is anything wrong with you, and there
is no rule that says a relationship must be serious and committed. In
addition, from what you're saying, I don't think you're doing anything
bad. If I guy can't keep your interest, then he just isn't "the one" -
next please!
I really would just accept yourself as you are and continue to date guys
on your own terms. But whatever you do or don't do, love isn't
something you can schedule. And from experience, be careful what you
wish for. True love is one hell of a roller-coaster.
No comments:
Post a Comment