Thursday, 10 July 2014

I got a non-comittal response!

Sarah says:
So yesterday I told the guy that I liked that I liked him because I wanted to know the answer already. But instead of things being more clear now, they're more blurry than ever! You see, he said he likes me but since we've never met he can't tell for sure (we met online). And that was it! So basically he didn't dump me but he also didn't take me???

I just want to know where I'm going with it but I don't wanna be too pushy because that would probably ruin all my chances. I don't know what else should I do... I really like him but he put me in an awful position. 

If you want to pursue this, push him for a face-to-face meetup in a public place. If he comes up with excuses why not, I would dump him at that point. As well as saying they like you, any prospective partner must show some intention to put money where mouth is, get off their butt and do something about it. You can't dance with someone who won't get off their chair.

My boyfriend has too many opportunities to cheat!

Tamara says:
My bf works with all women. He runs a dance studio. I was one of his students and we met this way and started a relationship. He instructs other women and women work for him. I am always insecure that he is around women. I am very attractive. Have a tight, fit body and he says I am the most beautiful, sexy and desirable woman he knows. 

But I always have a fear in my heart. Because he is charismatic and will have opportunities at every turn. I find this sometimes affects my relationship with him as I am jealous and I let him know when things bother me. I love him and we have the most incredible sex ever. 

But I do not know how to deal with this jealousy that I have. Is it rational? Irrational? He is a friendly guy too. What if someone puts the moves on him and he doesn't/can't refuse? How can I get over this without it ruining our relationship? Could anyone offer advice? Never been in this type of situation before. Oh, why couldn't he just be locked in a room working on computers all day, all by himself???

What you are feeling will find sympathy with women everywhere, and quite a few guys too! I have also had a few clients who came to me because their jealousy was destroying their relationship, so it's a very common issue.

The reality is that there are never any guarantees in even the best relationships. If your relationship is very good right now, my advice is always the same - trust absolutely until conclusively proven to be betrayed. Make his very clear to him - it's all or nothing. Pledge to him your absolute confidence in his professionalism and loyalty to you, but if he betrays that trust, it will never be given again.

Having drawn that line and made that open expression of absolute faith in him, instead of imagining him being tempted, imagine interesting things he's going to get when he comes home!

The key to dealing with your own jealousy is a combination of open acts of faith and keeping focus on happiness and gratitude. Worry is a prayer to the universe to give you your worst nightmare, and gratitude is a prayer for more good stuff please!

Shall I fight for this love?

Antwan says:
Just a month ago I got together with my girlfriend, and now we've split up. Only thing that we split up over was about the fact that she's still in high school, and I'm going off to college. I've been gone for a month on personal business to another city while she's back at home. I've done my best to talk to her everyday and keep in touch with her, but she said that wasn't enough. I gave her a set date of when I was coming home, and she was all set and ready for me to come back, as I was. 

However, that date had to be postponed till the week after, and she didn't want to wait that much longer. I told her and promised her I'd do whatever I could to come see her when I get back home. No matter how late the time, or what I had to do in order to come see her I was willing to do it, but she said she's not going for it. 

There's not a living ounce in me that wants to break up with her, especially over this reason in general. Someone please help me, should I still fight for my love, or keep my head up, and keep it moving? I don't wanna lose her, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't care for most of my ex's, especially the way I care about her. 

I am reminded of my own wife's persistence at chasing me when I also proposed a breakup due to distance, although I didn't work so hard at discouraging her. She wore me down, she spent a lot of money traveling, we got married and we're still together!

However that doesn't mean your own persistence will pay off. It all depends on her feelings for you. I would be inclined to fight for this love until you are convinced it won't be returned. If you want to take a chance and force the issue, the offer to make is TELL ME YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME AND I'LL STOP CHASING YOU. This however is an "Ace". Once you've played the ace, there's no way back!

Don't walk away until you've definitely lost, but if that happens, walk away for good.

I am 16 and confused!

Brian says:
I'm a 16 year old guy. I go to a private high school. It's summer. I lied to my friends and said my Xbox membership expired. That's how we communicate in the summer months. Play games together. Someone's their toxic, sometimes their friendly. I've considered leaving that school for personal reasons like lack of progression in academics and bullying. It's just not the right school I don't think. 

I've thought about online school. I went to a youth group today at a church. All alone. Very brave of me really. Tagged along with some other teenagers. Didn't get to talk as much as I would have liked to. More about the service than making friends unfortunately. Not sure if I'm gonna go back. It's every Wednesday and Saturday. 

The kids were mostly friendly, this girl I met seemed to like me. Which is really cool. I just wanted to try a new environment with all new people. I'm just lost in general. Thinking what if I left my school. Kept this youth group going. Got a job. Lots of uncertainty. I'm just not feeling a return to that place. I'm also in an experimental period. I wanting to use a new name,etc. 

You may be comforted to know that a common symptom of being 16 is having no idea what you're doing. You probably won't ever be ABSOLUTELY sure what you're doing, because most adults aren't!

You can start making it clearer though by thinking about what you really want. If you had the perfect life, how would it make you feel? Think also about what can make you feel that way now, what you're good at and what a perfect life would look like. Once you know where you want to go, you can start working towards it, and the decisions need to make now can be made with that purpose in mind.

And don't be put off if what you want seems impossible! Just want it REAL BAD. When you're focused on what you want, rather than what you don't, it comes nearer. If you shoot for the stars, at the very least you'll reach the moon! 

I'm worried about my bullied client

Elliot says:
Hi I'm 24 and a personal trainer, my client is 16. Yesterday me and a female collegue were training in the local park and my collegue stopped and said, "Elliott is that who I think it is?" I turned round and saw my poor client getting battered to a pulp by 4 girls. We ran and my collegue shoved them and was like, "You should be ashamed of yourselves!!" 

She was yelling for ages while I picked up my client and cleaned her face up with tissues and she just curled up against me giving me a hug. Normally I would've not hugged her back but under the circumstances I did and I rocked her back and forth and she said, "El it was so awful" I hugged her tighter and said, "Shh sweetheart everything's gonna be ok" so she'd calmed down and then my collegue came over absolutely furious with the other girls. 

We took her back home and explained to her mum what happened but I am so worried about her and I feel horrendous. What do I say next session to her? If they weren't girls I would've hit them because it's absolutely disgusting to hit someone for no reason. Oh and people filmed the fight and it's online what do I do?? 

I am assuming that you teach exercise and fitness. I have no doubt therefore that you will have contacts in self-defence, and I strongly recommend you refer her to one of these, particularly ones willing to do freebies in return for recommendations.

As sorry as you are for her, you are not her Guardian Angel, and she herself has to take responsibility for her own self-defence. In my experience, those who stop being afraid of taking a hit and are fully prepared to strike back stop getting bullied. It's her fight, and all you can do is point out where she can get a weapon.

I've been dumped by my best friend!

Megan says:
So when the person who knows you inside out turns their back on you, it feels like a stab through the heart. Right up until my best friend ­dumped , I’d have said we were as close as sisters.We knew each other so well, we could finish each other’s sentences and make each other laugh just by looking at one another in a certain way.Over the years, we had shared the most intimate events of our lives with each other.

We have been friends for 15 years since kindegarden and now we finished high school . She will be a doctor and I will continue architecture, but we planned to share a house together . But 2 weeks after high school she dumped me . She said I was acting different and she didnt want to continue our friendship. Now we have 6 weeks that we dont text, see or call each-other . She found a new friend and i see that she is ******* happy ! And i am the one who's suffering ALONE...:/
Do you think I may find good friends in university ? Will there be anyone just like me , alone with no friends?? 

The fact is that relationships that "go the distance" are in the minority - most have a birth and death. When a treasured relationship dies, you inevitably grieve over it and ask yourself lots of "what if..." questions. It's even harder when the other seems to bounce back almost immediately - though appearances can be deceptive.

It's time for you to let her go in your heart and move on. Treasure the good memories but make a new start. I have no doubt you'll find a kindred spirit at college, but don't be tempted to commit to people prematurely. Simply seek opportunities to strike up conversations about common interest and you will inevitably attract the like-minded.

Don't apportion blame and don't look back in anger. Get up from the "grave" and walk away. Life goes on. 

Thursday, 3 July 2014

A massage turned into something more

Graham says:
My gf gave me approval to get a happy ending massage, assuming it would be a HJ, but the girl gave me a BJ instead (with a condom). Did that turn a non-cheating event into a cheating event?
And before anyone asks, I'd be okay with her getting a fingered happy ending massage, or being played with a toy, but regarding the condom *******, she couldn't have an oral happy ending without actually exchanging fluids with someone, so I'm not sure how I'd feel. 

If you both want sex, what's the problem? If you want a sexual relationship of any kind, it DOES involve the exchanging of body fluids - you've done that already if you've kissed her. You're really having sex already and just splitting hairs over what sex means. If you're a Christian who's taken The Pledge, you've broken it already. If you're not, allow the joy of sex to fulfill your relationship, using proper contraception. 

I can't hide my feelings any longer

Alexander says:
I'm thinking of telling my crush of 4 years how I feel about her and it will be certain rejection and I don't really like looking sad in front of her because she will try to cheer me up by making me laugh and stuff but I don't want her to do that because what if I cry or something? How can I not look sad or even cry? (Yeah I'm sensitive guy, but only when it comes to her). 

This is a very common dilemma - you don't want to ruin a great friendship by telling her how you feel. But you are living a lie! It ISN'T a great friendship at all, just torture for you having what you can't have right in your face. This cannot go on. Tell her how you feel, and if what you expect happens, move on to other friendships and other relationships. That will be much better than what you're doing now.

I have no friends left

Nikki says:
I have known my best friend for 8 years, and we are in the same class. It has always been only us two, because everyone else hates us lol. Now there's a new girl who has more common interests with my best friend and my best friend just leaves me. I have NO ONE to be with, what should I do?

Some of us just don't fit in. If you don't fit in, you were born to stand out. For misfits, school can be Hell On Earth. Sooner or later like-minded people will come into your life and you will "find your place", but meantime seek them out online instead.

Am I being exploited?

John says:
First off, no I'm not materialistic. So I've been with this girl for about three months. She was also the person I took to prom. Even on prom, I saw the only person at the prom that didn't receive the male version of a corsage. So far I've taking her shopping a couple of times and I've taken her place multiple times. I've spent about 500 dollars on her (we're only 18) compared to her 40 or below, which she paid for food or movie tickets. However, she took her friend out shopping and to the movies on multiple occasions. 

She's made me promises but failed to deliver. In the end, I just want a 50/50 relationship when it comes to spending as well. She always talks about how she'll pay for her friend to go do this and that, but never does this for me. I know three months is not long, but it's long enough to recieve SOMETHING, even a card or something homemade. It's the thought that counts. 

She has tons of stuff I have bought her. I even have her a tv cause she didn't have one. She can make a little wardrobe with the stuff I've bought her. I believe to not fair and I'm not taking her anywhere or buying her anything else. She's a sweet girl, we both have plans for the future looks, we both have jobs, so as a person, she's cool. But she always blows her money on everything but me. Then im the one paying for all our get-togethers. I hate feeling used and abused.I have money, but I work hard for it.I can buy my own stuff, But again, it's the thought that counts.

You seem to be wanting confirmation for what you already know - that you're being taken for a ride. I'm happy to give you that confirmation. You're not imagining it - you ARE being exploited. Dump her right now, and put it down to experience. Next time you're being exploited, don't leave it so long before acting.

We both like doll roleplay

Susan says:
My bf and I are both virgins and in high school so role-playing is a fun, non-gross thing for us to do. I used to love getting treated like a babydoll by my boyfriend in private...but now he wants to be treated like the doll instead! It's fun sometimes but now he always wants to be the doll ALL the time. He's feminine looking and petite and I feel like he fits the role better than me! How can I get the attention back on me? 

Demand it! Or rather negotiate it. That said, I don't think your relationship has a future. You are both sexually submissive and your ideal partner is actually a caring Dominant.

Does she want my buddy or me?

Mercury says:
This girl I like at work would find weird ways to put herself around me all the time. Like take the same breaks as me and meet me in certain places she knew I'd be at certain times. Sometimes I feel like she likes my buddy too. I feel like she started taking the stairs out to the parking lot every afternoon after he started which is the way he goes. Instead of taking the elevator. 

Although I remember seeing her walk the elevator way before he came I can't really remember what she did usually. Now that he's gone she's still taking the stairs so I don't know if she was doing this to run into him or what?? 
Maybe she got tired of you making no move! It's not too late to ask her out, but why didn't you do that when she was giving you every opportunity? If you like her, show the balls you haven't shown up to now.

Does he like me?

Jacynta says:
Theres this guy from school that I talk to online alot. He's told me things that he's never told anyone else. I'm pretty sure he's friendzoned me because he's also asked for my opinion on whos the hottest out of a number of girls or whatever. The thing is, he is very affectionate with me. He hugs me quite often, and one time my friend called me a **** and he said "No no, don't call her that, don't". He also kissed me on the cheek on that day. 

There was another time when we were at a party and he kept accidentally calling everyone my name. He came up and told me and my friend about it later and jokingly said "I'm love with you". Another time, we were in an exam and he turned around and gave me a high five, before giving everyone else one. I know that doesn't mean anything, but I was the furthest person away from him and he gave me one first. 

So I know all these things could just mean he's a friendly and affectionate person but I can't help but wish there was at least a tiny bit of truth behind "I'm in love with you".

So, based on what I've said, do you think there's any possibility that he might like me, even just a tiny bit? 

Yes there is but do you really want someone who hasn't got the balls to ask you out? Kindness is lovely, but you want someone with some backbone as well. If you're still not put off, spell it out to him that if he asked you out, you would say yes. And I really do mean SPELL IT OUT because guys just don't get female "hints"

My wife fancied me for ages but I just didn't get it. In fact everyone else got it except me! Eventually a mutual friend with a big mouth told me she fancied me and that made asking her out easy next time she set up a social event. Having got me in the end, she still has me!

Do doctors ever fall for nurses?

Holly says:
So I'm a 28 year old woman and I'm a student nurse. At the moment i'm on placement in a hospital... I'm only first year so this is my first time working in a hospital.. I realise I'm "at the bottom of the food chain" amongst the staff lol.
I spotted a gorgeous young doctor yesterday (my first day). A couple of times we made brief eye contact but neither one of us spoke to the other.

Does he think he's too important and "above me" to talk to me bacause I'm just a student nurse and he is a doctor?

Today I was in his way. I said, "oh sorry," and moved out of the way. But he didn't say anything back.

Is it possible he might find me attractive? Or is he just looking at me to see that I'm looking at him for his ego's sake? 

Doctor/nurse relationships happen all the time, between all ranks, but that doesn't men everyone wants you. You clearly fancy him, but that doesn't mean it's mutual. There's no evidence at all that he's remotely interested. Turn on some flirtatious female charm and see if you get a response, but keep your feet on the ground - you can't win 'em all.

My ex still hates me

Paula says:
He has a new gf, but he still stares at me and if he happens to be near me, gets so angry. Before we ended stuff, he was super happy and so sweet. Now he acts like a monster. If he's in a relationship, shouldn't he be happy??? I mean, he shows her off to the world cuz he thinks she's "hot". 

You have badly hurt him and he can't get over it. But that's his problem not yours - you've both moved on. Whether you deserve it or whether you don't, you can't change what's in someone else's head. Simply stay away from the guy as much as you can, avoid eye contact when you do see him, and live your own life the best way you can.

Should I contact him again?

Plums says:
So me and this guy were speaking for hours till like 4am then I feel asleep on him. The next day I said sorry I feel asleep and the conversation continued. We got to know each other and then randomly he said I'll hook you up with my brother. I was like wtf no, he goes cos we're both the same age and I'm too young for him
I'm 18 and he's 21 btw. After that I just ignored him and then the next day I changed my display picture and he complimented me. This means that he didn't delete my number even though he sort of 'rejected' me

Anyways I really want to talk to him & for him to like me. I know he's not gonna speak to me because it's been a couple of days now. What exactly can I say to get him interested in me or shall I forget it overall

How can you get a guy to like you? 

Do you really want to hook up with someone who has made such an insulting remark? At the very least you need to demand an apology as the minimum requirement before he comes anywhere near you again. I think you are setting your standards too low. Start seeing yourself as a prize to be won by the best man for you.

You cannot make anyone like you. They like you or they don't. Be yourself, be proud, demand respect, and the right man will come along

Our relationship is becoming serious

Mish says:
I've been seeing a guy. He told me that he fell for me hard and rightfully so. And how his heart literally beats differently for me. I know I'm NOT his first girlfriend. He's had girlfriends before me. We also text many times during the day and on the phone for hours about everything. On the phone few nights ago, he asks me a random question if I believe in soulmates. I told him I do. And he told he does too. I didn't think much of it because we talk about random things. And it's not like he said I was his soulmate, he just asked my opinion. Our goodbyes on the phone are like 10 minutes plus. When we hung up, we texted again and he texts me "where have you been all my life ? Goodness :) "
We have a lot of fun together, but when we get serious, we do get serious. We seriously can talk about everything. We are quite young, only 23, but we are mature. He grew up with pastor parents and have a strong family. I grew up in a similar household so we hold similar values. Yesterday when we were talking, he asks me a random question again asking how many children I wanted. I told him I wanted 2, preferably 1 daughter and 1 son. Then he agreed with me and we had a convo on that about 10 minutes how he believes a guy should have a strong woman beside who can set the tone and how he agrees with me that he likes to have 1 daughter and son just like his household etc.

When a guy asks me this question, does it mean he sees me in his future although we are so young?? 

You can never know exactly what is going on in someone else's head, which may or may not be the same as what they're saying. Your best course of action is to enjoy this relationship one day at a time and see what happens. Btw 23 is not so young - I met my wife at 20, and I know some other fiftysomethings who have been together since their teens.

Only you can decide whether this is the "one" and how long you are prepared for him to say he feels the same.

I can't find him!

Shannen says:
I met this boy when i was away and all i know is his first name and the company he was working for, i cant find him on facebook and i have messaged the company but i doubt they will get back to me as it is a very big company. Any other suggestions? 

If this relationship was ever going to happen you would have exchanged contact details before you parted. I'm afraid it's not going to happen. Shrug your shoulders and move on. 

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

My boyfriend can't stay hard

Yoo says:
We have been having sex for 2.5 years now. He takes a while to finish, which is awesome for me. He also has to take breaks now and then to jerk off and re-harden, which I understand is normal and I never minded.

But for the past few weeks, he has been unusually... Unhard. He can barely keep it hard for long at all. I understand this probably isn't his fault, and I always tell him sex was awesome. I suspected that he may be stressed because the problem started around when he started a new overnight job, so his sleeping schedule is way off.

What do you think this could be? How can I help this situation? 
You have not mentioned his age, which would be useful. However Erectile Dysfunction can happen at any age. There are many possible causes but age itself is the main one. It can occur at 30+ but is more common at 40+ and very common at 50+ - and I should know! It's embarrassing and upsetting for a man when it first happens, but very common. The cheap simple solution to try first is Sildenafil - generic Viagra.

He doesn't want to introduce me to his parents

Susan says:
My boyfriend and I (ages 22 and 21, respectively) have been officially together for a little over 2 years. We are very much in love and everything is perfect except for this one thing - we are of different cultures and although he is loved and accepted by my family, its his family that would have an issue with him dating someone that is not of the same culture. As a result, he has never introduced me to his parents. I understand that cultures differences may be tricky, but I just don't see how this relationship can turn into anything further unless I can meet his parents.
He says that they will not be tolerant of me and it will cause a lot of issues in our relationship that could ultimately lead to its end, and he doesn't get why I'm even trying to push the issue. Ive suggested being introduced as 'just a friend' or even just casually bumping into his parents 'randomly' and having him introduce me then, but he's still even hesitant about that.

I know he's not 'ashamed' or 'embarassed' by me or anything like that because he's introduced me to all of his friends, so I just dont know what else I should/could even do about the situation.

Am I wrong for trying to push meeting his parents? Does anyone have any ideas on what I could be doing to resolve this issue? Ive been talking to our mutual friends about this issue, but no one can seem to find a solution. Please let me know what you think about this situation or any advice. Thanks! 

The answer depends on what you want. If what you've got is enough for you, let it go and accept it. However I suspect that ISN'T enough for you. You will always have the worry that his family will at some point intervene and end it. Are you prepared to live with at risk? Only you can answer that question, and the answer determines what you should do next. 

What do I do about my controlling boyfriend?

Anonymous says:
We've been dating for a year and a couple of months, he is 9 years older than me, and he is controlling. I attend The university of Texas, when we first met, I was still talking to guys (texting) that attended UT, and he was hanging out at his house having parties with girls... we grew out of that but he doesn't "trust" me at UT, hates how we live 3.5 hours apart, and wants me to move to a sister-college of UT that is closer to his town so we can grow as a couple... I have a scholarship at UT and if I move, I will lose it. I was really supposed to go to that other school originally, but this extra $2.5K a semester helps me...
now to today,

I am attending a community college at home, and I texted him and said how I am going to tutoring today, he starts to question me so much, and finally calls. He starts yelling saying how I was a "hoe" in the past and how he doesn't trust me anywhere. And he thinks i am meeting with a tutoring guy and said your not going to go to that and sit down with some guy, you are not going to that. He called me a C***, a stupid b****, a sl**.... I feel like I cant breathe... Its my school, this is my school...?! I love UT but i feel like aftr dating him I convinced myself that I hate it... I really want to be with him, but this just makes me laugh on why he acts like this... I dont understand. Its been a year since ive talked to any guy from UT and he still brings this up 

Dump this guy RIGHT NOW if you don't want to be hurt in every way, and end up being fitted with a mass of tubes in the Emergency Room.

This is very serious. The essential key ingredients in any relationship is TRUST and RESPECT and this guy has none for you. It is NOT going to get any better and he is NOT going to change. You are in serious danger if you pursue this relationship a moment longer.  

Why can't I fall in love?

Anonymous says
Ok so the past year and a half I have had 2 boyfriends one boy was the same age as me 17, and he was kind of my first love and I knew I loved him he was also my longest relationship.

After him I met a few other boys and I never really liked any of them but then I m et a boy called Matt so I when on a few dates with him and after a few weeks we made it official but I just wasn't getting any feelings for him at all! So I eventually broke up with him.

I'm currently seeing a boy who on paper is everything I like in boys but after a few dates there's just nothing there!
It just seems like I don't ever get feelings for people and the only person I had feelings for is my first love! Who broke my heart!:(

WHYYY is this happening?! 

Woah there! Slow down! There's nothing wrong with you except your expectations of both love and yourself.

Love just doesn't obey simple rules like compatibility and suitability. You can't cook it up like a recipe! I know people talk about finding love, but what really happens is love finds YOU in its own sweet time. You can't rush it, summon it, or create it. It arrives itself unannounced.

It's no bad thing, especially as a teen, not to fall in love too easily - it means you won't end up with some moron. Get on with other aspects of your life like finding the right career for you, and love will call on YOU sooner or later.

Btw no reason you can't carry on dating in the meantime if you want to. 

Should I forgive him or dump him?

Kassiia says;
My bf went on another girls fb everyday, sometimes even 3 times a day. This was happening for about 4 months! Then I caught him and he stopped and he even blocked her for me. They never talked,  I know that for sure. But should I break up with him? Or let it go? He said he only did that because he thought she was good looking. 

But he would never be interested in a girl like her (she is the definition of a slut). btw my bf is a shy guy and I know he would NEVER cheat. But it just bugs me how he kept looking at her profile soooo much!!!! We have been dating for 3 years!!! And he doesn't even talk to other girls. HE HAS NEVER TALKED TO THIS GIRL, otherwise I would never forgive him. I need mature answers btw

You have really answered your own question. After doing something wrong, he did everything to put it right. Men are very tempted by highly sexual women but the bottom line is he was only tempted.
Forgiveness is essential in any relationship. Of course, if he did it again, that would be another matter. As it stands, show the same mercy you would like to be shown if you unintentionally had hurt him instead.

I've upset my girlfriend!

I’m 19, my GF is 19, and we’re 6 years in. We live together as well. Even after all these years she’s very loving, sweet, and downright playful. I’m not a misogynist or a chauvinist( if I were how could I keep a GF for 6 years). I like to think of myself as a respectful guy and I am. Anyway, last night she decided to play “ What do you like about your boyfriend/girlfriend. When my joke went awry.
Her: Your smile
Me: Your eyes
Her: Sensitivity
Me: Your legs
Her: Big heart
Me: Pouty soft lips
Her: tenderness
Me: Your impressive rack * laughs *
Her: excuse me?
Me: What can I say? Your boobs are wonderful
Her: You’re unbelievably shallow. I have more than just a body you know. I have a brain. Everything you said was about my body
Me: Sorry if I hurt your feelings
Her: I’m not forgetting this just because you’re sorry. Tonight you can sleep at the zoo with the other mindless apes
Me: I’m really sorry. If it helps, say something about me.
Her: No, It’s rude and I don’t like hurting people’s feelings like you do.
Me: Sweetie, I…
Her: Leave me alone

She locked herself in her room crying and hasn’t spoken to me. Best way to apologize? 

You were being a typical guy! However you need to realize that most girls want to be appreciated for things other than their wibbly-wobbly bits.

It doesn't sound like you like her just because she is physically attractive, and it's these other things she wants to hear. Strong relationships stay together because each one finds qualities in the other they deeply respect and admire. My wife for example is phenomenally loving and patient with me, and she never bears a grudge about my past behaviour. These are the things I compliment her with.

A few non-physical compliments and a bunch of flowers will hopefully do the trick. By the way my wife has fabulous **** too, but she knows that I don't just love her for those. 

Should I settle for my ex-girlfiend?

Nicholas says:
I'm 19 and in college. My ex recently came back like two months ago and she wants us to be together again because last time we broke up because I thought she and I could do better (two years back.) anyways, I was told when you truly love someone you love everything about them including their flaws.. But the thing is her flaws disturb me. At the same time I don't think I can do better. I've had girls talk about me and such but my social skills are below zero. So should I just try to build up my confidence and social skills and speak to new people or should I just accept her for who she is and just go with it.

Not unusual for a 19 year old, you have self-esteem issues and are worried that this girl is the best you're going to get. To quote Madonna's song Respect Yourself - "Second best is never enough, you'll do much better baby on your own!" This is good advice. There is someone for everyone. Hold out for her, whoever and whenever she turns out to be and don't go with someone who you're not completely comfortable with.

I am having sex with my cousin

Anonymous says:
Me and my cousin were like siblings - we grew up together and did the most amazing things. I am 17 he is 20 - we have so many things in common - we are both athletic, he works at gym we do gym together but a week ago we started having sex after a conversation about the girls he dated and sexual staff. He is my first - I was virgin and I must say that I love this! I am in love with him but its so wrong - I mean its my own blood! I feel shame but I can't say no to him - he is gorgeous and I am mad for him..our family have learned about it and are shocked but that doesn't stop us and I feel terrible.. 

In most places cousins having a sexual relationship is not illegal and its certainly not unusual. You are not genetically close enough to be categorized as incestuous. There is a slight elevated risk of deformity to any children however - that may be something you wish to discuss with each other.

Regarding the relationship itself, if it's working for you, I see nothing wrong. Carry on loving each other whatever anyone else thinks or says - it's THEIR problem.

My boyfriend called me a slut to his cousin

Emma says:
Me and my boyfriend took a break for a day and went to see his cousin he goes to his cousin for problems. In conversation with his cousin he said "dont botther with Emma,shes a total slut."

I'm not mad, just hurt. We are still together. He told me what he said yesterday because i asked why his cousin was asking so many questions about my past and I wasn't answering.
Is this his bad? He was mad at the time. Should I be upset or am I being a drama queen?

I don't think this is a respectful way to treat a lady, and I don't think you need to accept it. This is also about self-respect - you deserve to be affirmed and praised by your boyfriend, not put down.

I advise you therefore not to accept it, and if he won't treat you with respect, find someone who will. 

My boyfriend has a wetting problem

Tiffany says:
Me and my boyfriend are 17. I recently learned that he used to have some wetting issues from his mother. She told me that he use to wet the bed occasionally until he is 14 and he use to wear diaper for bed but he doesnt do that anymore.She was laughing and enjoying herself and I thought that was funny too but my bf just went red and left the room.

His mom just kept telling us how he use to keep havin no #2 accidents at day too. Anyway after couple of days we were walking outside the town and we stopped at a hill to sit and enjoy the was going really well we were talking and kissing and laughing. I started to tickle him (because he is very tickleish lol) and he was like no! no! Im gonna pee myself!

I thought he was joking and kept on going until i saw a tiny spot on his ligh blue jeans i stopped in shock.then he started yelling at me normally he is a total gent alman.he said that i almost made him pee himself and he doesnt want to go back to old etc.etc eventhough I told him thats its ok I'm not judging him because of his little accident, but now he won't listen to me and we havent talked since! I feel really guilty, please help

This is a surprisingly common problem. Its proper name is Enuresis. Often sufferers are quite normal in every other way. Enuresis can be treated by Hypnotherapy (so I've seen a few clients with this problem) and other therapies. It is of course a profoundly upsetting and embarrassing problem to have.

There's not a lot you can do if he is refusing to talk to you. Hopefully he will come round if you persist. The problem can usually be worked around in relationships by adopting some do's and dont's. You can also give him my contact details if he needs some free advice.

By discussing the problem openly together and learning from him how to manage it together, his need not be the end of the relationship but he has to see it that way as well.