Jim Says:
I've known this girl for about six years (a long time, I know). I know
that she's always seen me just as a friend, and maybe even a little
below her level (though I should point out that she has been very
supportive of me in some tough times). I've always liked her,
regardless.
Last year she was in her first relationship, with a guy she barely knew
beforehand. He broke it off very quickly, but she was devastated for the
rest of the year. From this, I can see that she likely felt no
attraction toward me at all up to that point since she would rather go
with a guy who essentially was a stranger.
But this year has been slightly different. She's single still, and I
hang out with her a lot more than I used to (but always in a group
setting with other friends). She seems to pay a lot of attention
specifically to me during group conversations. She laughs at almost
everything remotely funny that I say. She teases me and argues with me
constantly.
The thing is, she's outgoing and just likes to laugh and tease. So she
treats other guys this way, and has always treated me this way. It's
just that NOW it's more obvious and often with me. She also seems to
routinely try to sit close to me in groups, even to the point of legs
touching. That never used to happen. And she seems overall more
comfortable and open with me in conversation.
Does she like me, or am I just imagining it because I want her to like
me? Is the way she interacts with me just a sign of friendship?
I'm sorry to tell you that you are almost certainly right. You have been
"friend-zoned" from day 1. She clearly loves your company and wants to
turn to you when she is sad and enjoys your comfort. Unfortunately for
it to turn to romance, you have to make her wet as well.
Of course, people's feelings can change, but do you really want to hang
around and wait? You might be waiting forever! If you value her
friendship too and can live with the frustration, do nothing but enjoy
each other's company. If not, even though it may hurt, it's in the
interest of both of you to stop seeing her.
Your third option is to tell her how you feel. This is a big risk - if
you still don't arouse her then you will have made the relationship
awkward and you will have to commit to being a friend only from now on.
If it was me, I would be shrugging my shoulders and looking elsewhere. If I can't turn them on I don't want to know.
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