Tuesday 3 June 2014

Vaginal odour has undermined our relationship

John says:
I've been seeing my girlfriend for several months and she lived with me for a while. The smell from her vagina has never been the best, as a result our sex life has been rocky, I didn't have sex with her unless she was right out of a shower. I never explained why to her, until after we broke up (for other reasons) But we recently decided to get back together. She doesnt live with me now.

I cant predict when shes showered so our sex-life is non existent. She got so frustrated over it that she asked me if I was gay, and it certainly seemed like I wasn't interested. I finally explained why yesterday. I was nice about it, and we talked about it. She told me she didn't have insurance to see a gynecologist So I said I'd help her out with it. I was supposed to go see her last night, but she stopped talking to me and hasn't replied to my text or calls. Shes been on Facebook talking and replying to other people's comments. I'm not sure whats going through her mind right now.Should I just leave her alone and give her time? Is she going to break up with me over this? 

You have done absolutely the right thing - you have been open and honest about how you feel. If vaginal odour is a problem for you then she needed to know. Unfortunately she's not obliged to take it well!
She is probably angry, hurt and upset - ladies especially find it really hard to be criticized in this way. But if she wants to be with you, she will need to get over it and address it or dump you. If she dumps you then fine - you know where you are and she was never the right girl for you.

She might however decide to "punish" you by keeping you hanging. By all means give her some space, but not infinite space. You will alone have to decide how long you are prepared to wait.

For long-term relationships to work, both partners have to be compatible. Being mostly compatible or fairly compatible won't cut it. She needs to be as open in her feelings as you have been. If she can't or won't, the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on.

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