Alexis says
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it
had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him.
It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's
told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and
I don't know what I should do.
His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even
happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the
nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a
bit much for any girl to take.
Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.
The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want
to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the
first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't
keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.
It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.
Showing posts with label trust issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust issues. Show all posts
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Thursday, 20 February 2014
What do I do about this difficult relationship?
Radostin Petrov says:
I think I must start with the fact that I'm a teenager and these things happen a lot to people at my age. I've been in a relationship with a girl (I'm a boy) for 4 months now being both happy and sad with it(mostly because I'm extremely jelious). I also am really egoistic and i know it. There' s another girl that has caught my interest who i am sure about 70% that likes me back but my girlfriend is really jelious of her. I would really like to spend more time with that girl but i think i may have had a bad influence with my gf and last night she even cried while we were on the phone that she is afraid to lose me and wants to be with me forever. I dont know what to do now as i certainly dont want to hurt her. She as well as the other girl is from my class and i am afraid that even a bad look from any of them caused by any reason would kill me inside. I know i act really selfish i just want to know how to get through the situation.
P.S. today i saw the other girl (not my gf) in the bus
To your credit you have been very honest about yourself - you have admitted you are jealous and hypocritical, but you have also shown a conscience and a desire to do the right thing.
I don't think anyone else can decide your next move for you, but these truths may guide you.
1. Relationships must include trust - no trust, no relationship, just a mess.
2. Often to do the right thing involves hurting someone's feelings - that musn't stop you doing it.
3. Always be honest with yourself about what you really want. Don't go for what you think you should want instead of what you really want - that will just make you unhappy.
4. Don't ever let fear determine your actions - you will feel fear anyway, so feel it but do the right thing regardless.
Good luck - trust what your heart tells you.
I think I must start with the fact that I'm a teenager and these things happen a lot to people at my age. I've been in a relationship with a girl (I'm a boy) for 4 months now being both happy and sad with it(mostly because I'm extremely jelious). I also am really egoistic and i know it. There' s another girl that has caught my interest who i am sure about 70% that likes me back but my girlfriend is really jelious of her. I would really like to spend more time with that girl but i think i may have had a bad influence with my gf and last night she even cried while we were on the phone that she is afraid to lose me and wants to be with me forever. I dont know what to do now as i certainly dont want to hurt her. She as well as the other girl is from my class and i am afraid that even a bad look from any of them caused by any reason would kill me inside. I know i act really selfish i just want to know how to get through the situation.
P.S. today i saw the other girl (not my gf) in the bus
To your credit you have been very honest about yourself - you have admitted you are jealous and hypocritical, but you have also shown a conscience and a desire to do the right thing.
I don't think anyone else can decide your next move for you, but these truths may guide you.
1. Relationships must include trust - no trust, no relationship, just a mess.
2. Often to do the right thing involves hurting someone's feelings - that musn't stop you doing it.
3. Always be honest with yourself about what you really want. Don't go for what you think you should want instead of what you really want - that will just make you unhappy.
4. Don't ever let fear determine your actions - you will feel fear anyway, so feel it but do the right thing regardless.
Good luck - trust what your heart tells you.
My 13 year old daughter wants to date
Tim Says:
My 13 year old daughter recently asked me if she was allowed to date. She said she wanted to date this 14 year old boy (Let's call him Thomas). She has known the boy for about 8 months. I've met him several times and he's a really nice boy. He's only dated one other girl and their relationship lasted 8 months. I don't worry about her having sex because she is FTM (some transgender thing) and she is very uncomfortable with her girl parts. So Im just wondering if I should allow it or not?
I don't see an issue. I've heard it said that parenting teens is like holding a wet bar of soap. Hold too tightly and you will crush the bar or it will shoot out of your hand. Hold too loosely and it will drop away. So hold the bar gently but surely. Let her do her thing, give her freedom to make choices, but step in if and when her wellbeing is threatened. Short of this, let her learn through her own mistakes and successes.
My 13 year old daughter recently asked me if she was allowed to date. She said she wanted to date this 14 year old boy (Let's call him Thomas). She has known the boy for about 8 months. I've met him several times and he's a really nice boy. He's only dated one other girl and their relationship lasted 8 months. I don't worry about her having sex because she is FTM (some transgender thing) and she is very uncomfortable with her girl parts. So Im just wondering if I should allow it or not?
I don't see an issue. I've heard it said that parenting teens is like holding a wet bar of soap. Hold too tightly and you will crush the bar or it will shoot out of your hand. Hold too loosely and it will drop away. So hold the bar gently but surely. Let her do her thing, give her freedom to make choices, but step in if and when her wellbeing is threatened. Short of this, let her learn through her own mistakes and successes.
Why can't guys stay loyal?
Anonymous says:
I mean seriously I don't understand you immature, pathetic, disgusting, cold heated guys who cheat, in the end you will be lonely, no girl wants a cheater. I'm just so curious as to why it so easy for guys to cheat. You know what if you fell for another chick how bout you do the right thing and break up with your gf then be with the other girl instead of cheat on your gf. In life I believe you will never be satisfied if you constantly try to look for better, how bout trying this stay with one for life like I don't understand, work issues out, just DON'T CHEAT.
You never realise what you have till it's gone.
In the first place, be reassured that we are not ALL like that.
Of course a lot of guys are. This is because male sexuality is fundamentally different. Females are the ones who have the babies. Therefore, female sexuality is based on the best scenario for a child - a strong committed single individual. Males are driven by genes that want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Females grant sex as an honour, men grasp it as a prize! Females have sex to get relationships, men have relationships to get sex.
That said, there is far more to a person than their sexuality. A good strong man is capable (up to a point) of controlling his sexuality for the one that he loves. That is he kind of man you are looking for.
I mean seriously I don't understand you immature, pathetic, disgusting, cold heated guys who cheat, in the end you will be lonely, no girl wants a cheater. I'm just so curious as to why it so easy for guys to cheat. You know what if you fell for another chick how bout you do the right thing and break up with your gf then be with the other girl instead of cheat on your gf. In life I believe you will never be satisfied if you constantly try to look for better, how bout trying this stay with one for life like I don't understand, work issues out, just DON'T CHEAT.
You never realise what you have till it's gone.
In the first place, be reassured that we are not ALL like that.
Of course a lot of guys are. This is because male sexuality is fundamentally different. Females are the ones who have the babies. Therefore, female sexuality is based on the best scenario for a child - a strong committed single individual. Males are driven by genes that want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Females grant sex as an honour, men grasp it as a prize! Females have sex to get relationships, men have relationships to get sex.
That said, there is far more to a person than their sexuality. A good strong man is capable (up to a point) of controlling his sexuality for the one that he loves. That is he kind of man you are looking for.
Tuesday, 18 February 2014
I'm confused about my guy
Jenny says:
The beginning of January I met a guy on tumblr. He randomly followed me and I decided to follow him back. After a few weeks of him following me, I decided to send him a message telling him I liked his blog. He replied and thanked me. I replied and said you're welcome. He ended up introducing himself to me and we exchanged KIKs. He lives in Canada and I live in California. It's now been a month since we began to talk and he's so nice to me. We don't talk everyday, mainly on the weekends because we're both busy with school and stuff. We end up talking for hours on KIK. He tells me I'm cute and sweet. He thinks I'm lovely. He told me he enjoys talking to me. We exchanged Skype names and sometimes we talk on Skype for hours. He calls me babe/baby. He also gets jealous when I mention my guy friends. Sometimes he gives me the "just friends" card and then he gives me the "more than friends" card. We've had intimate conversations (phone sex) over the phone too. I've told my best friends about this and they all tell me he likes me, but I don't know. Help? I'm confused. I'm starting to really like this guy.
If you are looking for certainty and security, I'm afraid there isn't any. Relationships is a risk business! When it starts to get serious, it sometimes evokes panic and fear. This is understandable when there are absolutely no guarantees. Some relationships are passionate then fizzle out. Some start as a friendship that grows into more and lasts forever. You name it, and a relationship has gone that way for somebody.
I think you have fallen for this guy and it's frightening you, because when you fall for someone you lose some control. No one can say if it would work out or not. The bottom line is, follow your heart not your fear. Life's a risk. If the prize is worth the risk, and the heart says GO, hold your breath, close your eyes and take that plunge into the dark. I hope it leads to happiness for you.
The beginning of January I met a guy on tumblr. He randomly followed me and I decided to follow him back. After a few weeks of him following me, I decided to send him a message telling him I liked his blog. He replied and thanked me. I replied and said you're welcome. He ended up introducing himself to me and we exchanged KIKs. He lives in Canada and I live in California. It's now been a month since we began to talk and he's so nice to me. We don't talk everyday, mainly on the weekends because we're both busy with school and stuff. We end up talking for hours on KIK. He tells me I'm cute and sweet. He thinks I'm lovely. He told me he enjoys talking to me. We exchanged Skype names and sometimes we talk on Skype for hours. He calls me babe/baby. He also gets jealous when I mention my guy friends. Sometimes he gives me the "just friends" card and then he gives me the "more than friends" card. We've had intimate conversations (phone sex) over the phone too. I've told my best friends about this and they all tell me he likes me, but I don't know. Help? I'm confused. I'm starting to really like this guy.
If you are looking for certainty and security, I'm afraid there isn't any. Relationships is a risk business! When it starts to get serious, it sometimes evokes panic and fear. This is understandable when there are absolutely no guarantees. Some relationships are passionate then fizzle out. Some start as a friendship that grows into more and lasts forever. You name it, and a relationship has gone that way for somebody.
I think you have fallen for this guy and it's frightening you, because when you fall for someone you lose some control. No one can say if it would work out or not. The bottom line is, follow your heart not your fear. Life's a risk. If the prize is worth the risk, and the heart says GO, hold your breath, close your eyes and take that plunge into the dark. I hope it leads to happiness for you.
Thursday, 13 February 2014
Is it normal for my girlfriend to tell other guys she loves him?
Brock says:
Ok my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. She is in Choir and they have "choir children" and "choir parents" and she has a "choir son" who is a year younger than us. They constantly hug each other whenever they see each other and always tell each other they love each other. She doesn't ever hug me like she does to him and doesn't tell me she loves me in public like that either. I get really jealous when I see that and I don't know if this is normal or something?? He also has a girlfriend and I know she doesnt love him like that, but she still hugs him and says she loves him a whole lot more than she does to me. What should I do? I live in California
What kind of bizarre choir is this?! It sounds like a well-meaning but very misguided way of doing things. If it was like adults looking after children, then I could understand it, but not when one "parent" is scarcely more mature than the "child".
You're not imagining it, this IS weird, and in my opinion, unhealthy. It means that you have to "share" her with this unwholesome setup. If I were you I would walk away right now, and date a girl you don't have to share with what seems to be a cult in all but name.
Ok my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. She is in Choir and they have "choir children" and "choir parents" and she has a "choir son" who is a year younger than us. They constantly hug each other whenever they see each other and always tell each other they love each other. She doesn't ever hug me like she does to him and doesn't tell me she loves me in public like that either. I get really jealous when I see that and I don't know if this is normal or something?? He also has a girlfriend and I know she doesnt love him like that, but she still hugs him and says she loves him a whole lot more than she does to me. What should I do? I live in California
What kind of bizarre choir is this?! It sounds like a well-meaning but very misguided way of doing things. If it was like adults looking after children, then I could understand it, but not when one "parent" is scarcely more mature than the "child".
You're not imagining it, this IS weird, and in my opinion, unhealthy. It means that you have to "share" her with this unwholesome setup. If I were you I would walk away right now, and date a girl you don't have to share with what seems to be a cult in all but name.
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Should I stay with my girlfriend?
Anish says:
We have been together for more than a month. I love her a lot but I don't trust her blindly becuase I am afraid that she will leave me one day.
I was her good friend when she was with her ex bf. She broke up with him becuz her bf was 2-timing! We fell in love and now we are together. She has had a lot of boyfriends and she broke many of their hearts, so I am little afraid to be with her.
Most of her close friends told me to break up with her because they think that she is using me and thinks that love is a game. They say her mentality is like " you can't be with a boy forever", so I am afraid to be with her. But when I told her she would leave me one day so we should break up, she started crying and told me trust her.I have trusted her, but now her friends are still telling me to break up with her becuause she is not trustworthy! I am confused too what should I do??
Forget the friends already! Do you really like this girl? If so just keep going. EVERY relationship is a risky business. There are no guarantees! If you want a relationship, you live with the risk.
My advice is trust her absolutely until or unless you have absolute proof she has betrayed you. If it doesn't work out, do the same with any relationship. You may get hurt, but you can get hurt doing anything - that's life. If you burn, you will learn, but don't let that stop you beginning again.
We have been together for more than a month. I love her a lot but I don't trust her blindly becuase I am afraid that she will leave me one day.
I was her good friend when she was with her ex bf. She broke up with him becuz her bf was 2-timing! We fell in love and now we are together. She has had a lot of boyfriends and she broke many of their hearts, so I am little afraid to be with her.
Most of her close friends told me to break up with her because they think that she is using me and thinks that love is a game. They say her mentality is like " you can't be with a boy forever", so I am afraid to be with her. But when I told her she would leave me one day so we should break up, she started crying and told me trust her.I have trusted her, but now her friends are still telling me to break up with her becuause she is not trustworthy! I am confused too what should I do??
Forget the friends already! Do you really like this girl? If so just keep going. EVERY relationship is a risky business. There are no guarantees! If you want a relationship, you live with the risk.
My advice is trust her absolutely until or unless you have absolute proof she has betrayed you. If it doesn't work out, do the same with any relationship. You may get hurt, but you can get hurt doing anything - that's life. If you burn, you will learn, but don't let that stop you beginning again.
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Should I take her to see Keith Urban or take my neighbour?
My ex loves country we are seeing each other but she has screwed up
before,lied to me,said one thing did another but we have reconnected
went out once but i want to see where her loyality lies and if she is
into me because having a job and money or if she is really just me
buying her things and taking her out.
For a start you have agreed to take her back. If you want this to work, you are going to have to trust her motives - so either trust her and take her to the gig or dump her now. If she betrays your trust a second time I strongly recommend that there is no third chance.
For a start you have agreed to take her back. If you want this to work, you are going to have to trust her motives - so either trust her and take her to the gig or dump her now. If she betrays your trust a second time I strongly recommend that there is no third chance.
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