Jessica says:
I'm having a big party for my daughter (sweet 16 hall event) and her
father who hasn't been in her life for 12 years is attending, last time
she saw him was 3 years ago for 5 minutes.
How do I cope knowing this man is attending when he knows he has't been
a father to her and knowing he will be there watching everything?! He
confirmed he's attending the party never offered to pay for anything of
this party and I paid for everything myself.
I understand how hard for you this must be. However the bottom line is
you cannot keep your daughter from your father unless your daughter
doesn't want to see him. Your focus needs to be on your daughter and her
best interest. I am acrimoniously and bitterly estranged from my
daughter, but I never stop my wife/her mother from seeing her, as that
would make my wife unhappy and resentful.
Sometimes we have to put our own feelings aside for the sake of the ones we care about.
Showing posts with label tolerance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tolerance. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Monday, 26 May 2014
Why are girls giggling, staring and acting weird around me?
Frank says:
Everywhere I go, At least where there are women, I notice almost every girl acts weird around me. Either they giggle for no reason, stare at me from a distance or in conversation and don't really approach me or conversation with me. Is it an attraction thing?? I've never had this before. It's been pretty consistent for the last 2 weeks. What's up??
As much as it may feel like it, it isn't just you they're doing this to. It's the nature of giggly girls together to single out random people to make fun of - you've just recently noticed it. It's nothing to do with attraction or repulsion, just girls taking the piss. Chill out and ignore it - it's no reflection on you.
Everywhere I go, At least where there are women, I notice almost every girl acts weird around me. Either they giggle for no reason, stare at me from a distance or in conversation and don't really approach me or conversation with me. Is it an attraction thing?? I've never had this before. It's been pretty consistent for the last 2 weeks. What's up??
As much as it may feel like it, it isn't just you they're doing this to. It's the nature of giggly girls together to single out random people to make fun of - you've just recently noticed it. It's nothing to do with attraction or repulsion, just girls taking the piss. Chill out and ignore it - it's no reflection on you.
Tuesday, 20 May 2014
My marriage is in trouble!
Nicole says:
In July of 2013, my husband got with a group of people that he thought would help him in his business. They took him in, gave him a car, financed his club gigs, and kept him busy. Within a few months, he stopped coming home, started partying all night and hanging with strippers. He even told me he wanted a divorce because he was tired of me bitching about him not coming home. My husband was never like this before!! This went on for 5 months. I was so hurt, I would cry every day.
He would see me cry and walk right out the door. As it turned out, those people lied to him about a lot of things so he decided to stop associating with them. He came home and apologized and was back to the person he was before these people came along. My thing is, I can't get over it!
He was so arrogant and nasty to me when he thought those people were helping him. I hate him for it and he knows it. He's trying so hard to make me forget, and is being such a sweetheart, but I'm scarred. I get so angry with him and he'll just sit there like a little puppy. Honestly, i feel like I just don't know what to do. I'm still hurting from it 3 months later. Please help!
To say I forgive you is easy to say, but as you are finding out, very hard to do!
The fact is that your relationship has been damaged and will never be the same again, because now you know what he's capable of doing in the wrong circumstances. Trust, once lost, is very difficult and very slow to come back again.
If this relationship is to continue or if it doesn't, that hurt ISN'T going to ever go away. At best, it will become less painful and easier to carry with time. You have to accept that like you would for any bad experience. Your husband won't ever be able fix it.
The question is therefore not how to fix it, but do you still love him, and do you still want him? If the answer is YES then dictate reasonable terms for staying together - and if he breaks them, end it. But beating him continually over the head with what he did will not help you, him or the marriage. If you are going to carry on, you will have to be able to live with the hurt in return for being treated better from now on.
But only you know how strong you are and how deep your love is. Be completely honest with yourself. Only give him this second chance if you definitely don't want to be without him, and you are prepared to accept that he is not as strong as you would like him to be.
In July of 2013, my husband got with a group of people that he thought would help him in his business. They took him in, gave him a car, financed his club gigs, and kept him busy. Within a few months, he stopped coming home, started partying all night and hanging with strippers. He even told me he wanted a divorce because he was tired of me bitching about him not coming home. My husband was never like this before!! This went on for 5 months. I was so hurt, I would cry every day.
He would see me cry and walk right out the door. As it turned out, those people lied to him about a lot of things so he decided to stop associating with them. He came home and apologized and was back to the person he was before these people came along. My thing is, I can't get over it!
He was so arrogant and nasty to me when he thought those people were helping him. I hate him for it and he knows it. He's trying so hard to make me forget, and is being such a sweetheart, but I'm scarred. I get so angry with him and he'll just sit there like a little puppy. Honestly, i feel like I just don't know what to do. I'm still hurting from it 3 months later. Please help!
To say I forgive you is easy to say, but as you are finding out, very hard to do!
The fact is that your relationship has been damaged and will never be the same again, because now you know what he's capable of doing in the wrong circumstances. Trust, once lost, is very difficult and very slow to come back again.
If this relationship is to continue or if it doesn't, that hurt ISN'T going to ever go away. At best, it will become less painful and easier to carry with time. You have to accept that like you would for any bad experience. Your husband won't ever be able fix it.
The question is therefore not how to fix it, but do you still love him, and do you still want him? If the answer is YES then dictate reasonable terms for staying together - and if he breaks them, end it. But beating him continually over the head with what he did will not help you, him or the marriage. If you are going to carry on, you will have to be able to live with the hurt in return for being treated better from now on.
But only you know how strong you are and how deep your love is. Be completely honest with yourself. Only give him this second chance if you definitely don't want to be without him, and you are prepared to accept that he is not as strong as you would like him to be.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
What does it mean when my boyfriend masturbates thinking about another girl that likes him?
Alexis says
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.
His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.
Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.
The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.
It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.
His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.
Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.
The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.
It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.
Thursday, 20 February 2014
Why can't guys stay loyal?
Anonymous says:
I mean seriously I don't understand you immature, pathetic, disgusting, cold heated guys who cheat, in the end you will be lonely, no girl wants a cheater. I'm just so curious as to why it so easy for guys to cheat. You know what if you fell for another chick how bout you do the right thing and break up with your gf then be with the other girl instead of cheat on your gf. In life I believe you will never be satisfied if you constantly try to look for better, how bout trying this stay with one for life like I don't understand, work issues out, just DON'T CHEAT.
You never realise what you have till it's gone.
In the first place, be reassured that we are not ALL like that.
Of course a lot of guys are. This is because male sexuality is fundamentally different. Females are the ones who have the babies. Therefore, female sexuality is based on the best scenario for a child - a strong committed single individual. Males are driven by genes that want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Females grant sex as an honour, men grasp it as a prize! Females have sex to get relationships, men have relationships to get sex.
That said, there is far more to a person than their sexuality. A good strong man is capable (up to a point) of controlling his sexuality for the one that he loves. That is he kind of man you are looking for.
I mean seriously I don't understand you immature, pathetic, disgusting, cold heated guys who cheat, in the end you will be lonely, no girl wants a cheater. I'm just so curious as to why it so easy for guys to cheat. You know what if you fell for another chick how bout you do the right thing and break up with your gf then be with the other girl instead of cheat on your gf. In life I believe you will never be satisfied if you constantly try to look for better, how bout trying this stay with one for life like I don't understand, work issues out, just DON'T CHEAT.
You never realise what you have till it's gone.
In the first place, be reassured that we are not ALL like that.
Of course a lot of guys are. This is because male sexuality is fundamentally different. Females are the ones who have the babies. Therefore, female sexuality is based on the best scenario for a child - a strong committed single individual. Males are driven by genes that want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Females grant sex as an honour, men grasp it as a prize! Females have sex to get relationships, men have relationships to get sex.
That said, there is far more to a person than their sexuality. A good strong man is capable (up to a point) of controlling his sexuality for the one that he loves. That is he kind of man you are looking for.
Thursday, 13 February 2014
Why wouldn't she do this in bed?
Ygnrt says:
Women when having sex have to feel comfortable around you. At least that is what I was told. Why do some girls take forever to feel comfortable around a guy? Is it have to do with trust? In one of my past relationships which lasted 5 years my ex would get upset when I would ask her to do a certain thing to me. For 4 years she always said she would, but she never did and that was a lie. She obviously didn't feel comfy enough with me. She supposedly loved me and went into depression after I dumped her. But if she loved me so much why didn't she feel comfy enough and trust me?
I am just curious what goes through a woman's head. When they say they need to feel comfortable around a guy to do things.
If the specific activity was that important to you, you were clearly with the wrong woman! Having said that, you have more to learn about sexual relationships.
All relationships are about compromise. Inevitably in bed, you will both have different preferences. If one of yours is clearly repulsive to the other, you then have a decision to make. How much do you love her? If you love her, you will not force her or even put pressure on her to do something she hates - you will sacrifice that preference in order to keep her.
Everyone is unique, and what is sexy to one is disgusting to another - it's nothing to do with how comfortable you are in a relationship, but purely to do with what you like. I suspect that she was comfortable with you, but not with what you wanted to do.
Please understand that sexual relationships are not about you getting your way - it's about giving as well as getting pleasure. You can't give pleasure if she hates what you're doing. If you are not sexually compatible, or you are not prepared to compromise, the relationship is doomed from the start.
Women when having sex have to feel comfortable around you. At least that is what I was told. Why do some girls take forever to feel comfortable around a guy? Is it have to do with trust? In one of my past relationships which lasted 5 years my ex would get upset when I would ask her to do a certain thing to me. For 4 years she always said she would, but she never did and that was a lie. She obviously didn't feel comfy enough with me. She supposedly loved me and went into depression after I dumped her. But if she loved me so much why didn't she feel comfy enough and trust me?
I am just curious what goes through a woman's head. When they say they need to feel comfortable around a guy to do things.
If the specific activity was that important to you, you were clearly with the wrong woman! Having said that, you have more to learn about sexual relationships.
All relationships are about compromise. Inevitably in bed, you will both have different preferences. If one of yours is clearly repulsive to the other, you then have a decision to make. How much do you love her? If you love her, you will not force her or even put pressure on her to do something she hates - you will sacrifice that preference in order to keep her.
Everyone is unique, and what is sexy to one is disgusting to another - it's nothing to do with how comfortable you are in a relationship, but purely to do with what you like. I suspect that she was comfortable with you, but not with what you wanted to do.
Please understand that sexual relationships are not about you getting your way - it's about giving as well as getting pleasure. You can't give pleasure if she hates what you're doing. If you are not sexually compatible, or you are not prepared to compromise, the relationship is doomed from the start.
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Why won't she share her problem with me?
Nick Jax Says:
Hello guys!! I have a 9 month relationship with a girl two years younger than me (I'm 19).Our relationship is tough and our different characters make it tougher.We live far from each other and we "lived" almost our whole relationship from a phone.But even if you can't understand it (it's natural...i could not understand also before this relationship) it's a relationship with passion and love from both sides.When i'm going back and think of our good and bad moments it's like it did not happen from a phone.Where the problem starts? the last few days she was "cold" and we did not really talk for long.I was asking her many times if anything is wrong but she was always saying that everything is ok.Last night, for another time i kept asking her and she finally told me.But it got me more confused.She said that for the last week or so she is bad...she's crying all the time, she's unhappy, she is closed to herself but she doesn't know the reason why! I asked her if something happened with her family, friends, an ex that she had feelings for, me...but she said it's none of these.She had no clue!What hurt me the most is that she said "it's my problem, i will solve it alone".I really want to help her because the way i see it her problems are my problems and i certainly feel like her...i don't feel good(and it won't change until it will be solved).That happened because (she said) all her exes did not really care about matters like this and she couldn't help but be "outlandish".It's the way she learned...she said she changed this for me but again it's not enough.She needs to understand that it's easier to solve it together! I suspected that it's because we had a quarrel some days before she started to feel like this.I was really mad at her plus many times she says that she is not what i deserve, she thinks that she hurts me more than making me happy but what i really think is that she's underderestimating herself...she loved me much much much more than any other girl!! But again she said it has nothing to do with the quarell!! What do you guys think? in your opinion what's the reason? and how do you think that she will stop being "outlandish" with me? (not because i want it but because SHE would want to change it) from my side what's the best thing to do??
Thanks in advance!!!
There's not a lot you can do if she is not prepared to share the situation with you, and to be honest that doesn't bode well for your relationship - keeping things from your partner undermines mutual trust. Having said that she's a little young to be in a committed relationship and know herself and what she wants.
This leaves you with a stark choice - wait for her to get her head straight or move on. Though the age difference between you isn't great, you are of age and she is not. You are asking a lot of one so young to trust you with things that are troubling her, especially since you are still rather young yourself. The choice must be yours, but my honest opinion is that this girl is not ready for a serious relationship.
Hello guys!! I have a 9 month relationship with a girl two years younger than me (I'm 19).Our relationship is tough and our different characters make it tougher.We live far from each other and we "lived" almost our whole relationship from a phone.But even if you can't understand it (it's natural...i could not understand also before this relationship) it's a relationship with passion and love from both sides.When i'm going back and think of our good and bad moments it's like it did not happen from a phone.Where the problem starts? the last few days she was "cold" and we did not really talk for long.I was asking her many times if anything is wrong but she was always saying that everything is ok.Last night, for another time i kept asking her and she finally told me.But it got me more confused.She said that for the last week or so she is bad...she's crying all the time, she's unhappy, she is closed to herself but she doesn't know the reason why! I asked her if something happened with her family, friends, an ex that she had feelings for, me...but she said it's none of these.She had no clue!What hurt me the most is that she said "it's my problem, i will solve it alone".I really want to help her because the way i see it her problems are my problems and i certainly feel like her...i don't feel good(and it won't change until it will be solved).That happened because (she said) all her exes did not really care about matters like this and she couldn't help but be "outlandish".It's the way she learned...she said she changed this for me but again it's not enough.She needs to understand that it's easier to solve it together! I suspected that it's because we had a quarrel some days before she started to feel like this.I was really mad at her plus many times she says that she is not what i deserve, she thinks that she hurts me more than making me happy but what i really think is that she's underderestimating herself...she loved me much much much more than any other girl!! But again she said it has nothing to do with the quarell!! What do you guys think? in your opinion what's the reason? and how do you think that she will stop being "outlandish" with me? (not because i want it but because SHE would want to change it) from my side what's the best thing to do??
Thanks in advance!!!
There's not a lot you can do if she is not prepared to share the situation with you, and to be honest that doesn't bode well for your relationship - keeping things from your partner undermines mutual trust. Having said that she's a little young to be in a committed relationship and know herself and what she wants.
This leaves you with a stark choice - wait for her to get her head straight or move on. Though the age difference between you isn't great, you are of age and she is not. You are asking a lot of one so young to trust you with things that are troubling her, especially since you are still rather young yourself. The choice must be yours, but my honest opinion is that this girl is not ready for a serious relationship.
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Why are people who play Second Life such idiots?
Anonymous says:
I decided to play the game today since I had finished all of my college work and I was pretty bored.
I played it for about 2 hours before I had finally had enough. The people who play that game are bloody mental and pathetic. I'm not talking about those who just play for a few hours and then call it quits, I'm talking about people who spend years playing that game. Spending real money to buy virtual objects...
I get it, when I have a bad day at college the first thing I want to do is play some games. It calms me down and allows me to relax for a while but these people spend hours upon hours on the blasted thing.
I don't understand how someone's life can become so horrendous and mundane that they are happy to sit in front of a screen all day instead of interacting with real people.
This is coming from someone who is Autistic and finds it difficult in social situation.
I met a guy who kept talking about his overly matcho muscle avatar claiming that this is what he looks like in real life. I met a woman who claimed she goes on there to practise 'pregnancy'. A man who was bragging about taking out a loan to buy this virtual house or something...
I just don't understand...
I decided to play the game today since I had finished all of my college work and I was pretty bored.
I played it for about 2 hours before I had finally had enough. The people who play that game are bloody mental and pathetic. I'm not talking about those who just play for a few hours and then call it quits, I'm talking about people who spend years playing that game. Spending real money to buy virtual objects...
I get it, when I have a bad day at college the first thing I want to do is play some games. It calms me down and allows me to relax for a while but these people spend hours upon hours on the blasted thing.
I don't understand how someone's life can become so horrendous and mundane that they are happy to sit in front of a screen all day instead of interacting with real people.
This is coming from someone who is Autistic and finds it difficult in social situation.
I met a guy who kept talking about his overly matcho muscle avatar claiming that this is what he looks like in real life. I met a woman who claimed she goes on there to practise 'pregnancy'. A man who was bragging about taking out a loan to buy this virtual house or something...
I just don't understand...
This is not so much a question but a rant. Being a (managed) sociopath I
understand how you feel, but the short answer is GET OVER IT. It takes
all kinds. We're all turned on by different things. In fact, it's our
diversity that makes us strong and flexible. It boils down to Physics
and the way things vibrate - you just vibrate in a different way to
them. Accept it, wish them every happiness and go live your life your
way.
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