Gold Finger says
I love her but sometimes i can't keep myself from thinking about someone else while sexing with her. Is this normal?
Any man who claims never to have done this is a liar! Plenty of women do
this too btw. It doesn't really matter if the relationship is warm and
loving and the sex mutually satisfying. But don't ruin things by telling
her straight afterwards!
Showing posts with label fantasies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fantasies. Show all posts
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Saturday, 17 May 2014
What does it mean when my boyfriend masturbates thinking about another girl that likes him?
Alexis says
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.
His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.
Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.
The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.
It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.
His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.
Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.
The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.
It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
I still think about my ex
Tammy says:
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Throughout our relationship I've thought about my ex but I don't understand why. I don't feel any love for him or miss anything we had together because I'm better off now. I've thought about my ex to the point where I can't take it no more.. I would force myself to think about my ex and I being together but that only makes me feel nothing.. I don't miss him or the relationship.. I don't feel like I love him.. I feel scared for my current relationship. It's the best I've ever had and I don't want to lose it.. my heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is telling me to try to force something with my ex if I keep thinking about him.. my ex and I also did not have a very good relationship so I keep thinking what ifs since he said he's changed and still loves me after 3 years..
This is a serious case of denial - the reality is you still desire your ex, even though you're with a better guy. I'm afraid neither love nor lust do logic - we don't desire the most the ones who treat us best!
What's going on is the REVERSE of what you're saying - your MIND says stay, your heart and other parts are saying something else!
However, that doesn't mean you should necessarily seek out the other guy - it just means you need to be honest with yourself - you still desire him. Accept it as a fact! That does NOT make you a bad person - we cannot help what feelings we have.
However, what you feel and what you decide to do are separate things. Get some space to yourself, maybe a day or so on your own, and honestly ask yourself this question - what would make you really happy? Don't try and figure it out like a math problem - just listen to your heart. It doesn't use words or explanations, you just KNOW the answer. Whatever the answer is, that's where you need to go.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Throughout our relationship I've thought about my ex but I don't understand why. I don't feel any love for him or miss anything we had together because I'm better off now. I've thought about my ex to the point where I can't take it no more.. I would force myself to think about my ex and I being together but that only makes me feel nothing.. I don't miss him or the relationship.. I don't feel like I love him.. I feel scared for my current relationship. It's the best I've ever had and I don't want to lose it.. my heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is telling me to try to force something with my ex if I keep thinking about him.. my ex and I also did not have a very good relationship so I keep thinking what ifs since he said he's changed and still loves me after 3 years..
This is a serious case of denial - the reality is you still desire your ex, even though you're with a better guy. I'm afraid neither love nor lust do logic - we don't desire the most the ones who treat us best!
What's going on is the REVERSE of what you're saying - your MIND says stay, your heart and other parts are saying something else!
However, that doesn't mean you should necessarily seek out the other guy - it just means you need to be honest with yourself - you still desire him. Accept it as a fact! That does NOT make you a bad person - we cannot help what feelings we have.
However, what you feel and what you decide to do are separate things. Get some space to yourself, maybe a day or so on your own, and honestly ask yourself this question - what would make you really happy? Don't try and figure it out like a math problem - just listen to your heart. It doesn't use words or explanations, you just KNOW the answer. Whatever the answer is, that's where you need to go.
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
My best friend's new girlfriend worries me
Peter says:
Hello, my friend has recently started dating this girl who seems to be nice etc. but she is in for something else. She said to him that she wants to be treated as a **** and she doesn't mind doing what he wants. He told me that because he has not been with a girl like that yet and wonders if he should stay with her. She does talk to him a lot she texts him etc I saw that, she also calls him often and wants to hang out with him. I also heard from her best friend ( my friend doesn't know this yet) that she doesn't really care about what he thinks, as long as he has sex with her she doesn't care. ( I don't know if they did it yet or not) idk why her friend told me this? I wonder how long could they last like that?
Thanks for any answers.
It's difficult to tell from where you are. Some girls are highly sexed and like to be dominated - that is a perfectly legitimate preference. But whatever her motive I don't see how it's any of your business. It is your friend, not you that is in the relationship and whatever happens is between them. You should only intervene in other relationships if you believe one of them is in mortal danger. I understand that you care about your friend, but you really do need to stay out of this.
Hello, my friend has recently started dating this girl who seems to be nice etc. but she is in for something else. She said to him that she wants to be treated as a **** and she doesn't mind doing what he wants. He told me that because he has not been with a girl like that yet and wonders if he should stay with her. She does talk to him a lot she texts him etc I saw that, she also calls him often and wants to hang out with him. I also heard from her best friend ( my friend doesn't know this yet) that she doesn't really care about what he thinks, as long as he has sex with her she doesn't care. ( I don't know if they did it yet or not) idk why her friend told me this? I wonder how long could they last like that?
Thanks for any answers.
It's difficult to tell from where you are. Some girls are highly sexed and like to be dominated - that is a perfectly legitimate preference. But whatever her motive I don't see how it's any of your business. It is your friend, not you that is in the relationship and whatever happens is between them. You should only intervene in other relationships if you believe one of them is in mortal danger. I understand that you care about your friend, but you really do need to stay out of this.
Friday, 24 January 2014
Sexual dreams about my uncle
Whovian1 says:
Please help no one answered this question before when I posted it here!
He's not even really related to me, only by marriage to my aunt...who he has actually divorced recently. I haven't seen him in a year come February. I keep having these recurring dreams were I go to live with him in his apartment( that always changes because he only got it like a month ago and I haven't seen it yet...and unfortunately probably won't) and we sort of fall in love and have this kinky sex. He's 20 years my senior and I should definitely not be having these thoughts/dreams. I don't know what to do... I feel disgusted with myself but I just can't stop...
Are these genuine dreams or is it also a sexual fantasy when you're awake? In either case, don't be too hard on yourself. We all have some kind of inappropriate thought, dream or fantasy. Thoughts and dreams aren't "you", they are things that happen TO you as experiences inside your head. You cannot control what enters your mind.
What you CAN control (with practice) is what has your attention. I strongly recommend meditation as a good way of emptying your mind of unwanted thought and focusing the attention on your hopes and ambitions. When your ability to focus is strong enough, unwanted thoughts still lurk around but they will no longer distress you.
Please help no one answered this question before when I posted it here!
He's not even really related to me, only by marriage to my aunt...who he has actually divorced recently. I haven't seen him in a year come February. I keep having these recurring dreams were I go to live with him in his apartment( that always changes because he only got it like a month ago and I haven't seen it yet...and unfortunately probably won't) and we sort of fall in love and have this kinky sex. He's 20 years my senior and I should definitely not be having these thoughts/dreams. I don't know what to do... I feel disgusted with myself but I just can't stop...
Are these genuine dreams or is it also a sexual fantasy when you're awake? In either case, don't be too hard on yourself. We all have some kind of inappropriate thought, dream or fantasy. Thoughts and dreams aren't "you", they are things that happen TO you as experiences inside your head. You cannot control what enters your mind.
What you CAN control (with practice) is what has your attention. I strongly recommend meditation as a good way of emptying your mind of unwanted thought and focusing the attention on your hopes and ambitions. When your ability to focus is strong enough, unwanted thoughts still lurk around but they will no longer distress you.
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