Why is my husbnd masturbating instead of having sex with me?

Taylor says:
I found out husband masturbated this morning after he woke me up and started getting ready for work. I'm really disappointed, sad, and feel angry that he didn't with me. He would have rathered jerked one while eating breakfast. How do I know...the washcloth he used to clean himself off with was in the basket and sorry to be explicit, but I know what he smells like because I give him BJ very frequently. 

He never gave me the sign that he wanted sex, just his normal hug and kiss and out to the kitchen where he looks at the computer. It makes me feel like a nobody, nothing and something physically he doesn't want to be with. We have great sex when we do, but that is to his boundry of only ever three day rule. I want it everyday and he knows this. Simply, he doesn't want it with me all the time like I do, he wants it (mentally) with other women. 

He also knows that I will do everything in the bedroom, EVERYTHING...I never say no and he says I fullfill every fantasy but now I know or have known this is a lie. I WANT TO KNOW WHY??? DO I masturbate, hell no! Do I fantasize, Hell no, why should I when I have him. I don't think like other women do.

I'm seriously thinking about asking him about this plus telling him we need a separation physically. This whole thing makes me very uncomfortable and second best. Can someone with a heart and no hurtful words please tell me what to do in this situation. I'm so uncomfortable with him right now when he calls at lunch I don't think I can talk.

You certainly have to talk about this but you are a little naive about the nature of men. ALL men masturbate and fantasize no matter how great their relationships and sex life is. That in itself doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or your relationship. The reason we do it is mainly because we can be completely selfish in our fantasies without hurting or disappointing real women - it is a mental as well as physical relief.

The REAL issue here is why is he imposing this 3-day rule? Once that is understood, you can find an answer together. Does he feel overwhelmed by your sexual appetite? Is it a power trip? Does he have performance anxiety? By all means ask him why he's masturbating when you'd gladly have sex with him, but don't pre-judge him - he could be very happy with you and have personal issues.

And by the way, if you are sexually frustrated, there's no reason why you shouldn't masturbate - it's not disloyalty, just harmless relief - and actually quite good for you. 

I have questions about sex

Georgia says:
I'm 18, and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay that way for a while for several reasons. But right now, I have several sex questions that honestly I just can't ask my parents because they'll think I'm sexually active or something.
First, how do I get over the fear of sex? Right now, the idea seems crazy and scary. Second, does it hurt the first time for girls? I know how sex works, and quite frankly, it sounds really painful.. Third, how do you know what to do when it happens? Do instincts just take over, or do you have to learn? That's it for right now. If you could answer my questions without being rude, I would really appreciate it! 

First question is do you really want sex or a sexual relationship? Could you happily live a lifetime without one? If the answer is NO to the first question and YES to the second, you may be asexual - a genuine sexual orientation.
If you like the idea of sex, your fear will be overcome by a very caring sensitive man or by a therapist who will get to the root of your fear and help you overcome it.
There aren't any rules about what you do in sex - the short answer is whatever feels nice. This takes some trial-and-error and experimentation.
The first time may hurt as your hymen is ruptured but some girls only have flimsy ones or even none, so there's no pain. However it WILL hurt if you are not fully sexually aroused first and the man just shoves in his penis all the way straight away. The right guy who is gentle and caring is absolutely crucial to a good first-time experience.
By the way I was a virgin until I was 23 so you are no freak!

What does it mean when my boyfriend masturbates thinking about another girl that likes him?

Alexis says
I just want to understand why he would do that. I wouldn't care if it had been to a celebrity. But he masturbated to a girl that likes him. It's not some random girl. I'm upset but I want to understand all he's told me is he thinks she's pretty and he's checked her out. It hurts and I don't know what I should do.

His honesty with you is in one sense a good sign. Generally, even happily committed men fantasize about women all the time - that's the nature of men. However, so openly fantasizing about someone in reach is a bit much for any girl to take.

Your first option is to dump him on the spot. That is the safest if you don't want to be hurt badly.

The second option is establish a line. Firstly tell him you don't want to hear about his fantasies with other women you both know and at the first hint of a genuine flirt with another woman, he's out. If he can't keep this discipline you were never going to keep him anyway.

It's good that he's open and honest, but that's useless to you if he can't keep his penis in his pants.  

Should I have sex with him?

Alexis says:
We dated earlier this year but broke up soon after because it was awkward since we were best friends before that.. Well awhile later we started talking about having a one night stand, and he said he really wanted to have sex with me.. I didn't know what to say.
He is wanting to hang out friday, and go back to his house. He told me his parents are out of town and he wants me to stay the night. What do I do?
I'm a virgin, and I mean I don't really mind being one but I kind of want to lose my virginity.
Should I sleep with him? It would be an one night stand..

This is a simple one. You are now at the age of consent. Do you consent? Meaning, is this what you want? Only your heart knows the answer! A good thing is that you clearly know the score before you decide. Be aware that the first time is not always the best, unless you're lucky enough to have a partner who is skilled and sensitive. It must be your choice and yours alone. 

What do I tell my family about my sexuality?

Hannah says:
OK, so I'm a fifteen year old girl with a strict catholic family. Got any where this is going?
I have fallen for one of my best friends who just so happens to be a girl, bring on the hate. She always flirts with me, calls me pretty etc and I don't know what to do. Shall I tell my family that I am bi-curious? Shall I tell her my feelings?
I'm scared of people at School judging me.
Any help from LGBT would be great!
Kik me; Hannahjessika
Text me; +447505910986 

 I feel very sorry for you because I know the hard time you are going to have in the next few years. You are still only young and may be unsure of your own sexuality. There is however a good test - when you masturbate or fantasize, is it with girls or both boys and girls? Either way, lesbian or bisexual, it will be better in the long run for you to come out now. Also explain that you want to be accepted and loved who you are. Your family may be desperately disappointed at first, but if they love you they will come around. If you continue to fake it you will be even unhappier! There's no easy way - every LGBT has to go through this - my advice is to get it over with. Good luck.

Are quiet girls horny?

Mr Rax
There is an Indian girl in my class. She is very shy and doesn't talk to guys very much. She is so cute and I like her very much. So, are girls who look very descent and homely also horny sometimes?
Just curious. 

When it comes to libido, outward appearances tell you nothing. My wife is quite reserved socially but she's costing me a fortune in Viagra! You never really find out what they're like until you get with them.